When we don't know who to turn to, sometimes we turn to the ones we least expect.
Luke Salazar is a senior at Bay High School, and he's been pushed, shoved, and shut out for most of his life. Miles Jefferson has been the ringleader of a lot of that...
When physics started, I was still thinking about the strange lunch I'd had with Rachel, Brooke, and Miles Jefferson. If someone had told me I'd ever be eating lunch with him, I'd have told them to get their head examined. And not only did I have lunch with him, it wasn't completely miserable.
But I had my doubts. I knew Miles sat at our table because he has something going on with Rachel. I was certain he was only being halfway nice to me to impress her. And that led me to another question: did he really like Rachel, or did he have some nefarious plot? I hated to imagine her hurt like that.
Just then, she walked through the door and waved to me. I smiled and waved back, but I noticed something: I didn't feel those telltale butterflies in my stomach when I saw her. Not that I wasn't happy to see her—she was definitely the closest friend I had, and the person who had been nice to me when no one else was, but I didn't feel that feeling. Maybe I only thought I liked her because she was the only person who ever talked to me...and now that I was trying to open up more to other people, that feeling has faded?
I knitted my brow, and she sat down next to me, dropping her bag onto the floor.
"What's that face for?"
I shook my head a little to clear my head and glanced up at her with a grin. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about our motley crew at lunch today," I covered.
She laughed. "Yeah. That was something, huh?"
"Uh-huh...Rachel, what's going on with you and Miles?" I asked, deciding to just get straight to the point.
Her face turned pink. "Luke, I honestly can say I have no clue."
"What do you—" I started.
"All right!" Mr. Brooks said, clapping his hands together. "I've got a lecture to give and you've got notes to take. Silence!" he exclaimed, starting up his PowerPoint.
I pulled out a piece of paper and instead of labeling it "Field Vectors," I started writing Rachel a note. All of Brooks' PowerPoints were on his website, so I could just print it later. I hadn't written an actual note since like 4th grade, but Brooks would shit a brick if he saw our phones out.
What do you mean you don't know?
I passed it to her, and she looked at me in confusion, then down at the paper before writing her answer.
I mean that this has all happened so fast that I don't know how what to make of it. It started with him texting me to ask me out, but I turned him down. Then we ran into each other at the cemetery and we shared a weird moment...then that led to a whole other thing.
The cemetery? Why was he there?
His mom died of breast cancer when we were in 5th grade. I had no idea and felt like a total ass.
I thought back to 5th grade and made an immediate connection. That was when things with Miles had gotten worse. From kindergarten until middle school, Miles had pretty much just ignored me and treated me like an invisible person, but 5th grade was when it got worse.
Holy shit. I didn't know. So what happened at the cemetery?
I saw her hesitate before pressing her pen to the paper.
He tried to kiss me. I shut him down, and he got upset and left. Then the other day we ran into each other again and got to talking...and he convinced me to skip school. And I have detention after school tomorrow. :|
I snorted. Rachel having detention was pretty fucking hilarious. She elbowed me in the ribs.
I mean–that sucks. Do you like him?
She stared at the paper a long time before flipping it over and writing a quick answer.
I think I do.
And how do you feel about that?
Honestly, it terrifies me. I've despised him for so long, but I've learned some things about him I never knew before.
What things?
She was about to write an answer when we both felt the proximity of Mr. Brooks. He was walking toward our table. Shit.
Rachel tried to push the note under her binder, but it was too late. Mr. Brooks held his hand out and her eyes widened. She bit her lip and handed it over. He glanced at it and looked back at us.
"Ms. Cross, you already have detention tomorrow afternoon for skipping my class. Mr. Salazar, why don't you join her? Perhaps Mr. Parker will allow you to continue your conversation then." He walked up to his desk and sent the note through the shredder. Rachel sighed in relief and leaned back in her chair.
When class was over, we got out of the room as fast as possible and burst out of the side doors into the parking lot.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, leaning against the brick. "I thought for sure he was going to do a dramatic reading of that note for the entire class!"
I laughed. "Now that would've been a fucking riot."
She glared at me and punched me in the arm.
"I gotta get home. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said, smiling at her.
"Okay Luke, see ya," she said, waving over her shoulder as she went to her car.
So this is what it was like to have friends...it made me wish I had let some people in sooner.
***
When I got home, my mom was up and cleaning the house. It shocked but thrilled me at the same time.
"Hey Ma," I greeted her, putting my bag by the door.
"Luke!" she exclaimed, dropping the dust rag and enveloping me in a hug.
"It's so great to see you up and about!"
She squeezed me once and let me go, resuming her dusting. "Thanks, Luke. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure it would be enough to help me, but I've started going to AA during the day when you're at school."
My heart swelled. "You have? Does Dad know?" Dad had been a different person since Ma had started drinking again, and it had worried me.
She nodded. "Yeah. It was his idea. He goes with me on his day off."
"How did I not know about this?" I asked.
"You've been busy, Luke. I know it's your senior year, and you have your own stuff to worry about."
She was right; I had been a little preoccupied. "How long have you been going?"
"About a month...I know I've been drunk when you've come home a few times, but it's just now starting to sink in. I've been sober five days now."
"I'm so proud of you, Ma."
"Thank you, Luke... I'm doing it for you; you're my motivation. I want to be a mother you can be proud of, not someone you're embarrassed to have at your graduation." Her eyes were misty.
I wrapped her in another hug. "Thanks, Ma. I love you."
"I love you too, Luke. Now go get your homework done so we can go out to eat tonight. Your dad will be home soon. He wants to talk to you too."
I nodded. I wondered what else Dad would have to say.
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