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"I'm graduating, fuckers." Dylan reminded us for the millionth at the breakfast table.

I didn't have it in me to care. Really, I'm not sure how he managed to pass the 12th grade — or any other grade for that matter. But by some miracle, he was graduating today, which meant that I was free from his presence at school for the next 2 years. Thank fucking god.

"You have pictures in an hour." Mom reminded him. "So make sure you're ready to go. I don't want you to be late."

Dylan didn't seem concerned with anything except for the fact that he's graduating. I feel like he's imagining it to be something much bigger in his head, when in reality, he's just walking across the stage for a piece of paper that he didn't even really earn. He's cheated off of Devin through his entire 13 years of grade school.

Hence, his best friend is valedictorian.

I must've summoned him in that moment, because ten minutes later, Devin showed up at our house. He came straight to the kitchen where we were all devouring the large breakfast that Dad cooked up early this morning.

"Good morning, Powell family." he announced his entrance with a cocky smirk, and everyone's attention directed over to him in an instant.

Dad, of course, congratulated him for earning valedictorian. Academics are very important to my parents. Mom insisted that Devin sit down and eat with us, and Dylan threw a pancake at him.

I ignored him altogether. It's not easy to look him in the eye after what he did in my room only a few weeks ago. We're on slightly better terms now, but I'm definitely not over that at all.

And I don't think I will be for a long time.

When it was time to leave, I was the first person to get in the car. All I could think about was the new 5 Seconds of Summer album that dropped last night, so I was somewhat preoccupied mentally.

Devin climbed in after me, followed shortly by Dylan.

"Are you giving me a shoutout in your speech?" Dylan asked curiously like an absolute brat.

"Yeah." Devin answered casually. "Duh."

It was hard to believe that Merriton high school's class of 2019 valedictorian railed a girl in my bed just because he felt like it. I always thought that valedictorians were supposed to be intelligent — but this one clearly isn't.

"I wrote the speech 15 minutes before bed last night. Hope I didn't make any grammatical errors." he admitted carelessly.

Dylan started laughing. "Aren't they supposed to proofread it like a week in advance?"

"Yeah, but I forgot to turn it in."

I can't believe Stanford actually accepted this idiot. I rolled my eyes in the backseat at the reminder. Devin getting into my dream school made me rage beyond comprehension. I wanted to throw a bag of bricks at him over it.

~~~

"A wise man named Dylan Powell once said ... 'fuck y'all, I'm out.' After 4 long years of being a dedicated student at Merriton high school, I'd like to say the exact same thing." Devin started his speech, making everyone's jaw drop.

"I'd like to thank my teachers for all of the strange assignments that boosted my GPA, and I'd also like to give a huge thank you to Principal Fendler for only suspending me that one time. My time at Merriton was nothing short of an adventure, and I've enjoyed getting to share some very valuable experiences with my classmates and peers — like that time the boys bathroom got flooded because someone took a colossal mammoth shit and we had to evacuate the building. Or the time that a horse was wandering around campus for an entire day. Good times."

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