focus (discontinued)

"You need to see the beauty that I see"

nine- "you need to see the beauty that I see"

"Morning to the two of you also" Jake's voice spoke, ruffling my hair gently as he walked past me.

"Morning Jake" mom breathed out, watching as he set his bad beside my legs.

"Don't wish death upon yourself" he whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear gently.

"It's going to get better- very soon, trust me."

I watched him work out with my mom as I scrolled through Twitter, also drinking water.

Then I noticed a kinda old- but familiar feeling.

Luckily- I made it to the trash can before I threw up everywhere.

"Fuck" I heard Jake's voice first- his hands pulling my hair away before rubbing my back.

"I told you not to eat the granola-" "not the time" Jake spat out quickly.

I gagged- feeling as if more needed to come up- but nothing was coming.

I let out a whine, wiping the tears that had escaped quickly.

"I'm going to take her to a park- maybe some fresh air will help-" "just get her out of my face"

Jake did as said, except we went to a small mall, sitting together at the lunch tables.

Jake.

I watched her, her arm on the table- head rested on her arm- her face purely white.

"Juice?" I offered, touching the cup of orange juice I bought her- knowing it helped me when I had a hang over and got sick.

She took small sips- stopping after only two.

"I think I feel better when I'm starving and craving pizza" she mumbled.

"You'll feel better in the end." I assured her, putting my hand to her shoulder, rubbing it gently.

"You're not really praying for death, are you?" I asked her.

"No" she spoke

"I'm not praying for it" she sat up, her eyes moving to mine, making me realize how tired she looked

"But I don't know- if it happened, you'd be like the only thing I miss" she spoke- and it kinda broke my heart.

"Life gets better, I can tell you from personal experience." I spoke to her, making her head go back down.

"I should just keep doing what she wants me to do- get to her ideal of perfect, maybe someone will think I'm pretty then" she spoke, making me quickly grab her, pulling her head to look to me

"You need to see the beauty that I see"

She blinked slowly

"Payton- you are so god damn beautiful, and I know me telling you this doesn't do any justice but I'm telling you- you're beautiful." I spoke, holding her face gently.

"Even my body?" She questioned- and I saw the tears coming into her eyes.

"Especially your body princess." I stressed to her

She needed reassurance

I was determined to give her that.

"You are perfect in your own kinda way." I spoke, letting go of her head- looking to her, seeing her green eyes looking into my own, as if waiting on me to take it back.

"Do I need to scream it?" I spoke- immediately seeing her eyes widen.

"No Jake-"

I took a deep breath- knowing I was about to embarrass the both of us

I stood in my chair, cupping my hands over my mouth

"I am sitting with the most beautiful teenage girl in this fucking world- and no one can ever prove me differently!" I yelled as loudly as I could.

When I looked back down to her- she was blood red, laughing louder than I've seen her laugh in a long time while throwing her hood over her head- trying to hide herself.

As soon as I sat back down- a nice security guard approached our table

"I love what you did- cause I understand what it's like having a teenage girl and confidence and shit" he smiled

"But" he continued

"I'm being forced to kick you out- public disturbance."

We laughed together- standing where he escorted us out of the building

"No hard feelings man- keep making her feel beautiful- just not publicly in the mall" he laughed, shaking my hand, which I smiled to

"I can't believe you" she continued to laugh as we walked to my truck.

"Did I prove it to you?" I shot at her.

She looked to me- as wide smile on her face.

"Maybe"

"I guess next time I could like- ride in on a wrecking ball- butt ass naked screaming how beautiful I think you are" I spoke- making her laugh even louder

"For the sake of my innocent eyes, I'm going to have to beg you not to do that."