Follow me home (Frerard)

I'm trying to hold on to what I love & not mess up everything

(Frank's Pov)

It's the middle of June, and school was finally over for the year. Ray and I are currently in the midst of getting out of our dorms and finding a decent house. Since living in a too small, jail cell like dorm for the past year has been hell, we needed our own place. Truly our own. And by that, I mean something my mom can't threaten to take away with her outragous amounts of money and social connections. My dorm is the only thing shes paid for, for me since freshman year. Other than that, it's been all my own money that's gotten everything I own. The only thing I can actually thank her for is the fact that she taught me how to handle money and save for emergencies.

"We'd need an extra room for a studio and practice room." Ray states as he strums his guitar gently.

I nod while staring at the screen on my laptop. "Not to mention, alot of space for all the stupid parties you have." I laugh.

He rolles his eyes and shifts to a comfortable position on his bed. "Not my fault it takes up this small ass dorm and the entire hallway."

"Still." I chuckle.

"Speaking of parties, do you think I should invite Jamia to my birthday party next month?" He stopped his strumming for a moment as he stared at me." I could probably pay for her flight ticket over here. With being all the way in new york and all."

I shake my head. "I don't think her boyfriend will like the idea of some guy he probably doesn't know, buying his girlfriend a plane ticket a thousand miles away just to go to a birthday party." I half smile at him.

"Fine, I'll buy him one too." Ray laughs.

I laugh too, picturing her boyfriend (poorly since I hardly know what he looks like.) acting tough to keep Ray away from Jamia. As I thought about it, I don't really know much about him. All I knew about him was a few physical details and the fact that he used to be a hermit until he met Jamia. Which kind of reminded me of Gerard. Except with me, almost. Either way, meeting him would be.. Interesting.

"You know what, yeah. Invite her." I smile wide. "Her boyfriend too, if you want."

Ray nods and pulls out his cell phone to dial Jamia's number. He then got up from his bed and headed towards the door.

As his phone call commenced, I proceeded to look through the many listings of houses on my laptop screen.

(Later that night)

Gerard is busy with getting his brother settled in after his flight, so he isn't able to skype tonight.

Instead of being normal and trying to get some sleep, I try writing a new song. It's only 9 o'clock anyways.

I grab my lyric book and my guitar from the corner of the room and begin on trying out some chords.

As I played out the smooth chords, I pictured Gerard. But not as his usual adorable self..

He was dead. Cold. Hard as stone. Beautifully pale. Dead.

The thought disturbed me. Too much for my sanity. Yet, I didn't want to shake it away. Sadness overwhelmed me and suddenly, I feel tears building in my eyes.

A single tear drop lands on the cover of my lyric book and I find myself picturing me holding Gerard's corpse in my arms. The image makes my heart nearly collapse and I immediately shake the thoughts away.

There's no way in hell I'm putting us in that image. It would kill me. Almost literally.

So instead, I put my parents in it. despite the fact that I have no idea what my dad looks like and the truth that my mom might not have any emotions at all besides intolerance and fury. Unless you were doing everything she wants you to do. Then, you'll be lucky enough to see her actaully smile. But I still picture them, nonetheless.

My dad was lying in a bed, dead as could be with mom's arms around him.

as soon as the mental image arises, words start to flow through my head. I immediately start to write them down incase im unable to remember them later. "late dawns and early sunsets.."

The next morning, Ray bursts through my door as I'm rehearsing the song I had been trying to write for the last 8 or so hours.

"Jamia and her boyfriend are coming to the party!" he exclaims.

I chuckle softly. "Awesome dude."

He nods, and plops himself at the end of my bed while I sat in the small couch in the corner of my room. "You stayed up all night again didn't you?" He questions me with an eyebrow raised.

"Yup." I say, popping the P.

"I'm really going to need to talk to talk to your mom abo-"

"I wasn't skyping with my mom this time.." I take a long tired sigh. "I was trying to write another song."

"Oh, can I hear it?"

"I'd rather keep this one confidential. to be honest, it's quite personal."

He nods again. "Is it about your mom or that Gerard you keep mentioning in your videos that you still haven't told me about?"

"Neither. Now get out, I need some sleep." I half grin.

He laughs as he gets up from my bed. "By the way, Jenna says hi."

I smile and wave him off before getting up from the small couch and throwing myself on the bed. Though, the second Ray was out the door, Jenna came into my mind. We haven't actually hung out much since the kiss all those months ago. Let alone talked.

I don't really know why. I guess I was just.. more focused on Gerard and how he felt about the whole event.

Every call after that day was never the same and neither was he. I felt like I had betrayed what little trust he had in me. Even though I did nothing wrong. I still felt like I had to earn it all back. So I did. Atleast I think I did. I sure as hell did my best to try.

It took two months to for me to make us go back to normal again. And another week or so for me to try to make him forget about it. I don't actually know if he did but, I can only hope so. As for Jenna? Well, of course she didn't remember it at all. And to be honest, I kind of want to keep it that way. As far as she knows, the call with Gerard went well and she wasn't rude at all. As the saying goes, "What she doesn't know, won't kill her."