Follow me home (Frerard)

For the answers that may never come your way

(Frank's Pov)

Gerard says nothing for a long time. Obviously in deep thought. And with each minute that passes, I know I shouldn't have asked him in the first place. Everyone knows silence is never a good sign.

When his sad smile fades, I take a deep breath and ready myself for any response that comes out of his pretty little lips. Even though we both know what it'll be by now. "I want this," He slowly repeated. "And I want it to last. But I don't think I can come with you, Frank. I think I have to stay here."

Somehow I knew he wouldn't want to go with me. I kept the possibility shoved in the back of my mind. Subconsciously I probably tried preparing for it. But I never prepared myself for how it would feel when all of it came true. How stupid of me to believe that I could have him. All of him, in every moment for the rest of my existence. But that's just me, right?

"If you say so." Every breath after that felt like I was being sucker punched in the gut, several times. "Skype 'friends' then?" I force out a smile, as if the previous five minutes weren't excruciating.

Surprisingly Gerard believes it and engulfs me into his arms. "Obviously."

I hug him back, as tightly as I could without hurting him. Honestly, I don't want to let him go. I could stand like this forever in his arms.

As soon as he lets go of me, I take ahold of his hand. "Come with me." I command.

"But? I-"

"To get some coffee or something." I chuckle with actual amusement at his confusion. "You know, spend time together before I go?"

He simply nods with a slight blush. We both got up from under the covers and got dressed. Then I follow him out of the apartment.

(A few hours later)

As soon as we start to make our way back to Gerard's apartment, the realization hits me. The inevitable truth that I won't be able to see Gerard again for another long several months. God knows when I'll be able to see him again, assuming I don't have another tour after this one. And to think I thought maybe for just a single moment that I was able to escape the reality of the inevitable. Am I really stupid enough to make myself believe that I'd be able to forget everything and stay with him? Or change his mind so that he'd come with me? That answer is pretty obvious.

If two years ago, someone told me about the person i've become today, i'd most likely laugh at them for saying ridiculously impossible things. Because in reality, I never thought it was possible for me to fall in love and sacrifice everything i've ever worked for. Just for the sake of being with them a little longer. But then again, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have been able to experience all the opportunities that's been given to me. Pretty much everything I have in this moment is because of Gerard. I guess dropping out of university for him doesn't seem that bad anymore.

"I'm really going to miss you, Frank." Gerard admits in a soft tone. I can tell this is hurting him as much as it hurts me.

"I know." I can't get myself to admit that I'll miss him too. Mostly because I'll probably end up crying like a fucking baby. And nobody wants that. Crying in public isn't something I want to humiliate myself with. Especially in front of Gerard.

In that moment, I take his arm and wrap myself around it. Holding on as if some existential force would rip me from him. But he didn't seem to mind while we walked the rest of the way back to his place that way.

As soon as we walked through the door, everyone's eyes except for Ray's shot up towards us. Mostly towards Gerard. Nonetheless us.

His brother had the largest grin on his face while he got up and smugly walked passed us and went into the kitchen. Jamia and Bob looked like they were on the verge of cheering while they sat on the large couch. And Ray just stared aimlessly into his phone.

"What?" Gerard asked puzzled.

"I'm glad I didn't get you that hooker for your birthday." Bob stated with a smirk on the corner of his lips.

Gerard's eyes go wide as his cheeks flushed red.

"Only because you got one for yourself." I laugh.

Jamia's cheerful expression fades and her eyes squint out of annoyance. "It was one time Frank. One time!" She mumbles. "And it was because you dared me to."

I rolled my eyes. "True, but you still could've said no." Everyone in the room laughs, especially Bob. Who only now realized how hard Jamia can really punch.

"Anyways, Frank. We've got to hit the road soon. C'mon let's get packing." Ray commands as he got up from the couch.

I nod and make my way over to Gerard's room to get whatever clothes I had remaining on his floor.

As soon as I walk into the room, I realize how much a complete mess the room was. All the torn up papers scattered around the room. Most definitely all of Gerard's drawings of me.

After quickly finding my clothes around the room and setting them on top of the bed, I begin cleaning up the mess that I undoubtedly caused.

Most of them were torn up pretty bad, to the point of no distinction of what the drawing once was. Even if I tried taping some of them back together as much as I possibly could, there was no point. They all had a piece missing. A few of them vital to the piece, others.. not so much. But it would never be the same without it.

Seeing the disaster of all of it broke my heart. Because no matter how much I make it up to him, I'll never be able to make up the amount of time it took Gerard to draw every single one of these. And it makes me feel horrible. All that hard work and passion just...

It's in that moment that I notice four pieces of a drawing stacked on top of his desk. I rush over to them and place what ever pieces of paper I had in my hands on top of Gerard's desk chair. I then grab the four torn pieces of paper that were still in moderate condition and look through them.

Fortunately they were all from the same drawing, and I manage to tape the pieces back together perfectly.

After I finish everything that needed to be done in Gerard's room, I think of the perfect idea to at least try to make it up to Gerard for everything I've done.

"Hurry up Frank! We're supposed to be leaving now!" Ray shouts from the other side of the closed door.

I roll my eyes "Hold on! I haven't finished busting a nut in Gerard's socks yet." I laugh then continue to whatever I was doing after hearing the roar of laughter from everyone else in the apartment.

It's times like these, where I'm grateful that our friends are such nosey people. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do all this without Gerard walking in. Thank god for his no longer existent virginity.

I take off my black and white striped hoodie and place it in the middle of the now clean room. Soon after that, I grab a sticky note from the side of his desk and write a quick little note on it and sticking it onto the taped up drawing before placing it under the hoodie. I figured it would mean more to him if I wrote it instead of just saying it aloud.

"I'll miss you more. - xox frnk" As soon as I was completely done with everything, I grab my clothes from the bed and walk out of the room to say my goodbyes.

I wonder how it's possible to make a single day feel like years and seconds at the same time. But some how it was. Oh how i'd do anything to redo it all again.

"Dude, what happened to your jacket? You almost never take it off." Ray asks once the bus begins to drive off.

"I packed it in my bag." I lied. "It's getting too hot to wear a jacket, anyway."