𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐬 • 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

5

v0t3 and c0mm3nt

●JADA POV●

"Hey um, so I heard your new, and you honestly fine as fuck so. U-uh you wanna exchange numbers?" Selina stuttered.

at first he just ignored her, making Stokeley laugh a little.

"You must've not seen this" she said making Jahseh look up at her.

She smirked before unzipping her jacket, exposing her boobs. She had no shirt on and it was just here bare stomach. Stokeley quickly turned around, probably cause he knew Korrine would be mad. I slowly turned around as my jaw dropped.

She really just flashed he tits at everyone on this side of the class. Jahseh didnt turn around though. He straight faced her, not looking at her boobs. I put my hand in front of my face looking down at my paper, cause I definitely dont like the sight of titties. I am not homophobic, but I'm not homosexual, I'm only dick.

"So you wanna trade numbers now?" She smiled happily.

he shook his head 'no' and went back to writing in his journal.

I glanced at him and he didnt seem fazed by that whole thing. I would've been traumatized, but that's just me I guess.

●JAHSEH POV●

I wasn't interested in anyone at the moment. I only asked Jada for her number cause she lived right beside me. And she seems cool, but insecure. She thought that I was thinking of her as stupid and desperate. I dont think she is stupid and desperate but she is cute.

Besides, who ever that girl just was, she is the desperate one. Not like she was but I dont want her shoving her titties in my face. They looked weird anyway. I mean she wasn't ugly but I dont like girls who force me to like them. Or girls who just assume that I want sex. Cause that's not what I want.

I want someone who is there for me for love and support. Someone who would let me hug and kiss them constantly without getting annoyed. But also someone who is willing to give me the same attention.

I never got that type of attention from my mom and that's why I crave it so much. I dont blame my mom though. She had me at 16 and my dad left her immediately after he found out. So my mom worked a couple different jobs so she could support us.

But anyway, I cant love anyone right now. And if I love you, your mine. I'm selfish. I wont let anyone talk to my girl, I wont let them look at my girl, they cant even think about my girl.

I'm not in my right mind. Stokeley told Jada that I transferred schools, but that isnt true. I been here in lauderhill all my life. He only told her that so that I didnt scare her.

I recently just got out of a home for kids that's are supposed to be 'mental'. I was in there for attempted murder. But all I did was stab the guy. He was beating on my mama, what the fuck was I supposed to do. Sit there and watch her get her ass beat? Fuck no.

"Vro, whatchu thinking bout?" Stokeley asked me.

"Nothing" I told him, not looking up from my journal.

depression is a war,
battle against yourself.
every thought is a bullet.
every movement is a punch.
every word is a stab in the heart.

Depression is a thief
It takes everything you once had
Everything left behind is the things, that keep you trapped.

Depression is a murder.
It killed the person I once was
I look in the mirror and see this thing.

depression is a zombie
your alive but your dead
You are unaware of what's happening
You're the walking dead

depression is a nightmare.
You wake up in a living hell
Your afraid of living
Everything seems impossible to bear.

Depression is an ocean
A sea of emotions
Your drowning everyday.
However your never saved

Depression is a bottomless pit
Never ending pain
Never ending struggles
There is no light
There is no escape

Depression is a war.
A constant battle within yourself
I think I might surrender,
For I have had enough

Depression is a war
You either win
or die trying
And I'm afraid to say I'm losing.
- XXX

Everything I ever wrote in this journal was pure real emotions that I would never be able to explain to a human. Cause I dont think they'd be able to understand. No one who isn't going through the same thing as me.

●JADA POV●

after school...

We were over at Stokeley's house again. I never likes going home after school since my mom was almost never in a good mood.

My mom wasn't always mean but she was always 'checking up on me'. She just gives me tooo much attention. I dont crave it and that's obvious. But she still forces herself to talk to me. Also, she knows she is annoying me too. She likes getting on my nerves. I can tell.

Some people are the opposite way and want their mom to give them attention. But it's usually guys that way, I think girls want their fathers attention. I definitely do want my fathers attention but the problem was, I dont have a dad... anymore. He passed away before I was born.

So since that happened, I have been craving a guys attention. I just want love and affection from someone, but every guy I met hasnt wanted to be dedicated to me, not one person. They always want to have hoes on the side. They want to have me, plus a couple other and I dont want that. I'm selfish to be honest. If we are dating, you're mine and I dont share.

"I'm hungry " korrine groaned rubbing her stomach.

"I can order food" Stokeley said picking up his phone.

"Yall want pizza?" Stokeley asked looking at me and Jahseh.

I nodded and jahseh shrugged.

"Yall too quiet for my liking" korrine sighed looking at both of us.

I looked over at Jahseh and he shrugged again making me laugh and korrine face palm.

TO BE CONTINUED...