Author-kun: OH MY GOD! GUYS! GUYS! GUUUUYS!
Danny: What do you want, Author?
Tucker: Jeez Louis, you're overly excited.
Skyler: Yeah. What's up, Author?
Author-kun: THIS IS OUR 50TH CHAPTER, GUYS!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING THAT IS?!
Sam: Given that all your other stories have an average of about 5 chapters, that's pretty big.
Author-kun: I KNOW! And stop reading my books!
Sam: Stop writing.
Author-kun: No.
Sam: Then there's your answer.
Danny snickers as his girlfriend frustrates Author to no end.
Author-kun: Anyway, that's not all. Do you know how many reads we have?
Paulina: Reads? Do you mean readers?
Kwon: No, she means how many times people have read the chapters he's posted.
Valerie: Why should we care about that?
Star: Because it's how many times people have read about all the horrible things that Author has put us through.
Author-kun: I DID IT FOR THE VIEWS!
Skyler: You're not a YouTuber, Author.
Author-kun: I can dream. Anyway, we have 2.9K views. That's almost 3,000! And do you know how many votes?
Jack: People are voting on this? What was the outcome? What are they voting for?
Jazz: No dad. A vote on Wattpad is the equivalent of a like on Facebook.
Jack: Wait. People LIKE ME?!?! FINALLY!! I'm getting the recognition I deserve!
Everyone then contemplates on how little Jack has contributed to the terrible events that have taken place.
Author-kun: Anyway, we have 95 votes!
Mikey: So 95 out of the 3,000 decided to click on the little star in the corner?
Author-kun: Let me be happy, Mikey!
Skyler: That's kind of a pathetic ratio, Author-kun.
Author-kun: Well, it makes me happy! So shut it!
Sam: You have way more views and votes on your Ouran React.
Author-kun: Which still confuses me. Probably because it's specifically shipping. But that's an even more pathetic ratio. And one person can read the story several times and it counts as another view each time, but they can only vote once.
Mikey: So what you're saying is that you only have 95 views.
Author-kun: You may be smart, but you do not understand the complexity that is Wattpad.
Mikey: A site for pornographic fanfiction written by eight year olds is in no way complex.
The readers roll they're eyes at Mikey for his lack of knowledge when it comes to writing communities and websites.
Author-kun: It has also come to my attention that I have 281 followers on Wattpad! And I have no idea why! All my stories suck!
Readers: NO THEY DON'T! *dumps several buckets of positivity, glitter and rainbows on my head*
Author-kun: And now I'm going to throw myself in a trashcan.
Skyler: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It wasn't an answer, but Author-kun got excited! The next chapter will be interesting and Author-kun has to do some quick research. Hopefully they'll be able to portray it in the way you guys want. Anyway, we'll see you in the next chapter! Until then-
Author-kun: Hwyl!
YOU ARE READING
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