Then and Now

Goodbyes

Sam sat on his bed, carefully colouring his newest drawing with the good coloured pencils that Dean had somehow managed to get him. It was a drawing of him and Gabriel under their tree. He hoped to show it to his friend tomorrow, he was sure that the older kid would like it, Gabriel always loved looking at Sam's drawings.

It was well past midnight now, and while it was lights out, there was just enough light coming in from the full moon outside that came through the window. Sam couldn't sleep, every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the events of the attack.

It didn't happen as much anymore.  The nightmares. But when they did, he had no hope of actually getting any sleep. Drawing calmed him, allowing him to forget the bloody images. Even if it was only for a moment. 

He tried to push any memories of that night as they bubbled up. But that was easier said than done. Being in school made him realize just how much he was missing out on. 

He missed his mummy more than anything. He thought about how lucky Dean had been, Dean had been able to have more time with their mum, had had more hugs and more stories. Of course, Sam wasn't angry at Dean, not by a long shot. But he just really wanted to have another hug from his mummy. 

The paper in front of him now had several wet spots on it, and Sam realized that he was crying again. The warm tears tickling his nose as they rolled down to the tip, where they were starting to fall steadily onto his drawing. 

Scared of ruining it, Sam hastily sits up and shuffles back from the drawing. 

It was now that a knock sounded on the window. Sam froze, his limbs stiff with fear. Another knock, quiet but real, and Sam turns his head towards the dark window.

There was nothing there, unsurprising considering they were on the second story. Still, Sam felt scared as he slowly climbed off his bed. In his fearful state, he half expected something to grab and pull him into the dark gap under his bed. Nothing did, of course, and Sam walked over to the window. Standing on his tippy toes, Sam looks hesitantly out into the dark yard. He strained to see anything, and much to his surprise, he saw a familiar shock of golden hair. 

Smiling despite his shaky fear, Sam turned and quietly crept out of his room and into the dark hall. He held his breath while creeping past Lilith's room, and before long he was downstairs and next to the back door. Now he was faced with the problem that Miss Lilith kept the keys in the highest drawer. Sam, well Sam was a lot shorter than other kids his age, and therefore his reach fell short of even touching this drawer. 

Huffing, Sam heads over to the dining table. It takes him several long moments of huffing and pushing, but he manages to get the chair over to the drawers and retrieves the keys.

Now he uses the chair to reach the lock, and within seconds he is able to walk out into the night. 

Sure enough, Gabriel was waiting for him, a small smile on his friend's face.

Sam tilted his head, giving Gabe a confused look.

"Sorry if I woke you up..."

Sam shakes his head, his hair bouncing in his face.

"Good, it's just..." Gabe looked down to where he was digging to into the dirt.

Sam wasn't always very good at telling what others were feeling, but he could see now that Gabriel was definitely sad. It made Sam want to hug him.

"I feel sad for some reason, I don't wanna be... alone."

Sam was right then. Not that he wanted to be.
Frowning, Sam moved closer to his friend and wrapped his arms around him.