Then and Now

Bestest best friends

June 20th, 2007
Ocean Beach, San Diego

The summer's unrelenting heat had sweat trickling down the back of Dean's neck as he lay sprawled out on his bed. The other boys he shared a room with, Shane and Ryan, had long since disappeared to enjoy the sunny day.

Dean, however, had refused their offers to go to the beach with them. He had to finish this letter to Cas.

Still, he couldn't help but look out the window with longing. He absolutely adored summer. He loved the hot sun warming your skin, the way everything just smelled so... alive, the way the waves at the beach crashed over your body, creating instant relief from the heat. A warm breeze drifts teasingly through the open window.

Sighing, Dean turns back to the task at hand. Castiel, the ever diligent friend, had sent two letters last week. One detailed the usual, what he had been up to, asking after Sam and Dean, and just general chit chat. The other, the one Dean had shown Sammy, detailed Gabriel's latest prank. Apparently poor Cassie had gotten caught up in the crossfire and had ended up with a bucket full of water balloons popping over his head.

Dean had taken to printing out photos of the surrounding beaches and parks, sending them to his nature loving best friend. He was also telling Cas about how he had taken Sammy to Santa Monica Avenue Beach last week, he added in that he reckoned it was the kinda place Cas would love, if it weren't for all of the people.

He also enclosed a photo of himself and Sammy. He knew that Castiel would tell them both to get hair cuts. Sam's hair was now long enough that it fully covered his ears and curled down around the bottom of his jaw and neck. Dean's had started to fall into his eyes.

Reminded by the thought, Dean made a mental note to check in on Sammy after he finished with the letter. Maybe Cas could advice him on his brother's behaviour, which had Dean gnawing on his bottom lip with worry.

I'm worried about Sammy, Cas. I mean, he was always mute 'n stuff, but...

Dean chews the end of his pen, looking out the window again. The sun filtered through the tree leaves, casting strange shadows across the room.

He's... quite. I know, I know, he's always quite. Bad choice of words, but its true. He barely smiles, stares into nothing and has barely batted an eyelash every time we're shifted somewhere new, we've been here a few weeks but he hasn't even bothered to unpack his bag.

I think the shock of seeing Him again really affected Sammy, it triggered this new silence.

There was a good chance that Dean was being over dramatic, but if there was anyone he could truly open up to, it was Cas.

Anyways, I hope you are enjoying your summer!
Always your Bestest best Friend (shush bestest is so a word)(no chick flick moments though)
De x

Dean knew that if the other boys caught wind of this being how he ended the multitude of letters he wrote, then they wouldn't let him hear the end of it. But this was just the way things were, Dean and Cas were best friends and Dean didn't see any harm in sending his platonic love along the way. They were still kids after all, besides relationships were gross. Why not just stay bestest best friends?

Shoving the letter into the envelope that already had Castiel's address clearly printed on it, Dean carefully slides it into his back pocket and makes sure to grab his meager amount of money he earned from mowing the lawns last week. 

"Sammy?" His bare feet pad silently across the bare wooden floor in the hallway. The door to the room Sammy shared with three other boys was ajar, revealing Sam lying on his bed. 

"Sammy?" Dean sticks his head through the door. "Wanna come for a walk with me?" 

The post box was down by the beach, and this was the perfect chance to try and get Sammy outdoors.

Unsurprisingly, Sam shook his head. 

"Please?"

Again, Sam shook his head no. That hurt animal like feeling Dean had felt in the police station last year stirred within him. Then again, it was there more often than not. It was what sent him into fights at school, its what had him lashing out at foster homes. The last family they had been with had described him as a cornered, injured animal trying to protect itself even though the threat was gone.

Only, the threat wasn't gone. It was in the bullies who taunted his brother at school, it was in the happy families that seemed to be rubbing their happiness in Dean's face. It was in the man that haunted his dreams. The man he kept seeing everywhere, he would see him in the postman when he walked in the shadows, he was in the man walking down the street holding his wife's hand. Dean was so frightened of seeing him, that now he saw him everywhere.

Sam still hadn't made any move to join him, and Dean had to leave him be. Regretfully, Dean quietly shut the door on his silent brother. He just wanted to help Sammy, but he didn't know how. 

The hot air hit Dean the moment he stepped out the front door, his bare feet curling as they touched the burning concrete. 

Closing his eyes, he takes a moment to enjoy the warmth of the sun on his face. For a moment, he felt at peace. 

"Dean! Are you coming down to the beach?" Cole stood out on the front path, hands shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked over. 

Dean hesitates. He didn't want to leave Sammy for that long, but then again Cole was his first proper friend since Castiel. Maybe an hour wouldn't hurt. 

"Sure, s'long as we go past the post box, I gotta send this letter."

The beach was crowded with people by the time they got there. Everyone was eager to soak up the summer sun. Kids ran past giggling while parents sat around on towels talking, surfers were making a beeline for the surfer's only beach, while other people splashed around in the water.

It was loud, bright and chaotic. Dean loved it. It didn't take him long to spot his roommates, Shane and Ryan were running through the shallow water, laughing. 

"C'mon, lets hit the water!" Cole was already sprinting ahead, sand kicking up behind him. "Last one there is a rotten egg!"

Dean rolls his eyes, but follows in close pursuit. For just a little while, he wanted to stop being constantly afraid. He didn't want to be Dean Winchester, the sad little orphan, he wanted to be just Dean. A carefree, 11 year old boy at the beach with his friends. 

He just didn't want to be Dean Winchester, loser. Dean Winchester, the paranoid child. 

His only regret was that Castiel wasn't there to enjoy the beach with him.