Then and Now

Wanna see if I can fly?

December 10th, 2009
Michigan

Dean hated the holidays. He hated the cheerful families depicted on the Christmas specials, hated the cheerful music and hated how.... how lonely he felt.

Sitting under the large tree in their current home's backyard, Dean barely feels the cold air biting into his skin as he doodled bees absently on his homework. He hadn't gotten a new letter from Castiel since their latest move, and he was surprised by just how much he missed his friend's letters.

Their last few letters had been brief and few. Castiel mostly talked about how Lucifer was looking forward to being a freshman next year (Dean wasn't, he wanted to stay in the same school as Sammy), Gabriel's latest dance awards, and how Balthazar and Gabriel were grounded for getting into a prank war.

A dead leaf skitters past, momentarily distracting Dean from the workbook in his lap, and somehow his thoughts once more return to Cas. What was he doing now? Was he curled up with a comic book? Watching his crazy brothers run around creating chaos?

He chews the end of his pen, slamming his book shut. Who needed school anyway? What was the point when they would be moving again come the new school year?

The back door swings open, and Dean looks up in amazement as his brother starts down the rickety back steps.

"Sammy?" Dean had been feeling more hopeful about his brother lately. He wasn't sure what it was, but Sam just seemed... better. Dean had hope that perhaps his brother was simply getting better, but he feared it was because the boy was simply forgetting their parents altogether.

As he got closer, Dean could see that Sam had been crying.

"Sammy? Are you okay?" Dean jumps up, instantly protective over his little brother.

Sam shakes his head, burying himself into Dean's side.

"What is it?"

Sam doesn't answer, obviously, and Dean is left to wonder what the heck had set his brother off.

"Wanna... play a game?" Dean felt silly asking it, they hadn't play a game in years, and at 13 Dean knew he was above such games but... he wanted to cheer his little brother up.

He feels Sammy's head nodding against his side.

This is how, 30 minutes later, Dean ends up hanging from the edge of the garage roof dressed as superman as Sammy sat waiting from where Dean had pushed him up, his batman costume already dirty.

"Hang on Sammy," Dean puffs, wriggling from the ladder onto the roof.

Sam opened his mouth, and for one wonderful moment it looked as though he was going to speak to Dean, finally, but then he closed it and instead just watched his brother.

Once Dean is situated on the roof, they just sit there grinning.

"So batman, wanna see if I can fly?"

Sam's face grows troubled as he looks from Dean to the ground.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Those were famous last words

***

Sam notes back a grin as Dean stands on the edge of the garage. Sure, he knew that Dean wasn't able to fly, but his brother certainly was an idiot.

"Its easy, watch me!" Dean grins back at Sam, before jumping off the roof.

Eyes wide, Sam scrambles forward in time to see Dean grab hold of a branch in the tree next to them, swinging gracefully to the ground with not even a scratch.

"Ta-Da!" Dean does a dramatic bow, sweeping his cape in front of him.

Well, if Dean could do it then there was no reason why Sam couldn't.

Before Dean could say another word, Sam leaps off the side of the roof without thinking. Holding his arms out wide, he tries to grab the branch. He manages to grab it with one hand, but the other can't get a grip and all his weight jerks the other arm. Slipping from the branch, he falls awkwardly to the ground, landing roughly.

"Crap Sammy, are you alright?" Dean was by his side in seconds. "What hurts?"

Sam can only whimper, his knees were grazed and bleeding, and his ankle hurt.

"Sammy?"

Without thinking, and perhaps because he had been trying to speak to Dean for years, Samuel Winchester said his first words since that dreadful night.

"Shit hurts." His voice was weak and rough, the only times he had used it was when he was alone. It was awfully silent for the moment following his raspy words and he's scared that his brother is going to turn on him, to call him out, to tell him off. 

Instead, Dean does none of these things. Instead, he pulls Sam into a tight hug. Sam hugs him back, ignoring the fact that Dean's tears gave away his brother's emotions. He forgets about his pain, his fear, everything. He was just grateful that after everything, he still had his big brother. 

~~~~

Sam hung onto his brother's back as Dean carried him back inside. 

"Y'know, this would be a lot easier if you didn't eat like a freaking moose." Dean huffs, struggling to open the backdoor. 

Sam giggled, despite the tears running down his cheeks. After the thing of his speaking had settled, Dean had instantly taken on the role of mother/father/big brother again, checking Sammy's wounds over. 

The house, as always, was silent. Their current caregivers were always out doing various errands, leaving the kids to themselves. Dean carries Sam up to the bathroom where he sets about cleaning him up. Sam stays silent, wincing as Dean patches him up. 

"Hey Sammy?"

Sam hums, he just... felt weird about talking again.

"I'm proud of you kiddo, I know it's been rough but, I'm proud of you."

Sam smiles weakly. "S...sorry."

Dean just shakes his head. "Its okay Sammy, it's okay."

Sam was touched by how hard dean was working to not a major deal out of his talking.

"Hey, Dean!" Adam, the small boy who arrived here a week after them, came barreling down the hall.

"What's up, lil' man?"

Adam rolls his eyes at Dean, "the roof, duh." Then he looks at Sam's knees. "Ouchie, how'd that happen?"

"We jumped off the roof."

"Cool," Adam's eyes were wide. "Oh! Right so this came for you in the mail!" Adam hands Dean a letter, grinning proudly. "The other boys wanted to open it but u kept it safe for you!"

"Thanks man..." Dean takes the letter, distracted as he reads the 'return to sender' stamp on the front.

Sam was curious to know what that letter was about, because his brother looked so stricken and sad in that moment, it hurt to watch.

"Probably nothing," Dean finally says, shoving the letter into his back pocket. "Now go away, you lil idjit."

Adam stuck his tongue out at Dean, running off and leaving muddy footprints from his scuffed up sneakerd behind.

"Mrs Milligan ain't gonna be happy about that," Dean mused.

Sam just stares at the ground, his thoughts on the letter that had made his brother upset.

So I know it's weird that Sam suddenly starts talking but I was reading more up on selectively mute children and apparently they can talk to their family but not strangers/people other than their immediate family so.... I want to give Dean some happiness, so now Sam is talking to him