chapter forty-eight

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Jungkook's POV

I wrap my arms around myself, feeling the chill of the autumn air as I wait outside my apartment for Haru.


I turn and see her approaching me, bundled up in a coat. I smile to myself, seeing how cute she looks.


"Are we stupid for getting ice cream during fall?" she asks and I chuckle.


"Ice cream can and should be eaten year round." I take her hand in mind as we begin walking down the sidewalk.

"When was it that I got my tattoo?" she asks, and I shrug. "It was sometime during winter, I'm pretty sure."


"Really? I could've sworn it was during fall."


The leaves crunch beneath our feet, splotches of red and orange painting the ground. I turn and look at Haru.


Every time I look at her, I don't know what happens. It's like my heart begs me to stay alive, it begs me to keep living another year just for her.


I want to protect her, to hold her, to never let go. I want her to feel safe with me, I want to take away her pain.


I want to stare into her eyes, into those two shining orbs of light forever. I want her to feel the gaze that I give to her and to her only forever. I want her to be the happiest girl alive.


When I look at her, I feel happy. But deep down inside my heart, I feel pain. Pain that my time here is almost over.


It could happen any moment.


Which is why I'm cherishing this time with her and showing her as much love and affection that I have for her in my heart as possible.



She looks at me, grinning, "You've been staring at me for a while now without saying anything."


I smile, "Have I?"


"Yes you have, what's wrong?"


"Nothing. Can I not admire my beautiful girlfriend?"


She scrunches her mouth up, "I think you need to admire the ice cream we're about to eat instead."


"Oh yeah, I'm gonna break up with you because I'm actually in love with ice cream, sorry."


"Dang, that sucks for me."


I chuckle, and she looks up at me with a grin. Her smile grows wider as she giggles, "You have a leaf in your hair."


"I do?"


"Yeah," she giggles, reaching up and taking it out. "You know I've always been jealous of your hair," she comments, gently brushing my bangs to the side.


"I'm jealous of your beauty."


She rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips, "Why are you like this?"


"Because I'm Jeon Jungkook."


She chuckles, looking down at her feet, "Well, keep being Jeon Jungkook," she looks up at me, "Because Jeon Jungkook is someone who I love very much."


I stop walking and pull her into my embrace, my heart beginning to swell. "I love you, Haru," I whisper, kissing her head.


She looks at me, softly smiling, "I love you more."


Without hesitating I bring my lips down to her's, letting my emotions get the best of me.


She cups my face with her hands, deepening the connection of our lips.


After a moment I pull away, staring into the galaxies of her eyes.


"You know what my favorite part about you is?" Haru asks, still cupping my face. "Your eyes."


I smile, kissing the tip of her nose, "My favorite part about you is everything."


She giggles, "You know what else I like? Those little dimples that appear sometimes. And that little beauty mark under your lip. And that small scar on the side of your face. And your bunny smile. And-"


"Haru," I laugh, starting to walk again.


"What? I'm just admiring my boyfriend," she teases, nudging me.


I open my mouth to say something when I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my stomach, causing me to lose my balance.


I stumble sideways, but Haru keeps me upright. "Woah, you okay? Do you need to sit down?"


I shake my head, my vision starting to blur, "No I'm-" I groan in pain as my stomach churns again. I clutch my stomach, trying to keep my balance.


"Jungkook!" Haru's voice gets louder, and she comes to the front side of me, trying to help me maintain balance.


I fumble for my handkerchief that I always keep in my pocket, feeling iron in my throat. I turn my head to the side and begin violently coughing into it, seeing scarlet specks.


I try to hide it from Haru, but...she notices. Her face is horrified, and tears begin welling up in her eyes. "J-Jungkook."


"B-Baby don't be scared I'm o-okay," I cup her face as tears begin streaming down her cheeks.


"We're getting you to a hospital I don't care anymore," she says, voice trembling as she pulls out her phone.


"Haru I'm not-"


"Stop lying!" she shouts, startling me.


Tears begin gliding out of my eyes, "Haru, baby I'm sorry."


"I knew there was something wrong but I didn't do anything and now I'm-"


"It's not your fault, don't worry," I sob, my voice cracking.


"But I am worried Jungkook, I'm worried sick. I don't want to...I don't want to lose you," she begins sobbing, "Please just tell me what's wrong, please."


"I'm not leaving your..." my vision becomes blurry again, but not because of tears. Black dots begin specking my vision, "I'm not leaving your s-side Haru..." I feel her hands lift me up again, and she's saying something.


She's saying something but I can't hear her. Her voice only echoes in my ears.


"I love you," I hear myself whisper, my legs going numb.


I collapse into Haru's arms, the world turning black.


{ A / N }

ok but i'm getting sad now

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