Last Evergreen Standing [On Hold]

Chapter 1- Birthday emotion roller-coasters

" I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~ Marilyn Monroe

Today's my birthday. Yay! Do note the sarcasm.

Today can be anything but yay. Not that I'm spending it locked in a basement or being tortured somewhere. No, I'm actually at my birthday party with my friends and family, enjoying the fact that I'm finally 18.

But all in all, I'm a mess, a huge mess. Ever since that day, everything has been... How can I put it... Mute.

Nothing has light anymore. Nothing has flavour anymore. Nothing makes my blood boil or causes my stomach to flip anymore. Everything just went mute, as if nothing exists in any other way but black and white, there's not even a place for grey in my life anymore.

"Saph?" I turn as my best friend calls my name and look at her. I smile at her and raise my eyebrows in question. She walks over to me and I admire the way she gracefully walks through the filled room, grabbing any open-eyed guys attention.

Standing at 5"6 feet tall Amanda and I are exactly the same height but she is the beauty in the duo. Her platinum blond hair and light green eyes make her the next great model and her petite figure seals the deal. She has curves where needed and her tennis practise has helped at shaping her beauty.

"Wow, took longer than I thought." She heaves dramatically causing me to shake my head at her, forcing my lips up to form an amused smile. She looks at me and her bright eyes dim a little. Being friends with me since first grade pays off cause the girl can read me better than anyone I know, and that's saying something.

"Are you okay? You seem pretty off." Aren't I always? I wanted to ask but kept my words to myself, no need to mess up the day for anyone.

Ha! How ironic. I'm stressed about bumming people out on my birthday whereas they should be worried about me. Like I said, everything changed.

I nod my head at her question and sip on my savannah. Since I'm legally able to do so without my aunt biting my head off, they bought some alcohol for me to drink and enjoy without being worried about being yelled at or being caught.

Amanda tilts her head to the side and gazes at me with the 'you're lying' look on her face. I keep eye contact with her and try my best to keep my smile intact.

That's how I've dealt with things, smile and nod. That's the best I can do and lucky for me, it has worked tremendously in the two years that I've been doing it. No one bothers me when I do that cause they know they won't get anything more but they can sure get less than that. It's not like I want to but loosing the people you grew up to. Losing your first love and superhero is the worst thing to happen to a 16 year old. Not everyone copes with grief the same way and the best way I did was to smile and nod.

Locking myself up in my room seemed like a wonderful thing to do at the time but wallowing in self pity and grief would only cause me to fade from existence and I know many people would be hurt by that so at least let me be there but not emotionally. That part of my life burnt away with that house and I doubt is ever coming back. It did not only crash my heart but it tore away my soul.

After some gazing she sighs and takes my hand pulling me to the kitchen. I won't lie and say I did not see the look of hurt in her eyes. She's been nothing but supportive of me and all I've done is lock her out. Not only her but everyone who has tried to get the old Sapphire back, and they know they won't succeed cause they're well aware that everything changed.

Hey guys!

Well that's a short chapter one but I wanted you guys to take a look at how Sapphire is and how her life feels like. I'm not a great authoress but I try . Now I won't say things aren't going to take a turn on the following chapter by who knows... Just stick around and you'll find out.

Hlahla🍎🍏