Take You Back

CHAPTER 30

~When the heart is down
and the soul is heavy,
the eyes can only
speak the language of tears.
-Author Unknown.

He wasn't there when I woke up. I was being paranoid. The event happened a week ago, but I still felt his arms around me and that he had whispered that he loved me. He would never come to see me. Who was I for him to come to see? He made it very clear that he hated every bit of me.

I slept through the next day and the next, I lost count of everything. Each time I go to the bathroom, I try not to look in the mirror. Once, I caught my reflection: it looked like I'd been punched in both eyes.

I can't come to speak about the day that follows because I feel like I'm about to die if I don't get out of this room. "Laura, come on, you've been in that room for a week," Tina screamed from the door for the hundredth time, banging loudly on it. I opened the door and looked at her. Before she reached out to hug me, I collapsed on the floor. "He left me, Tina, he left me." While Tina wrapped her hands around me tightly consoling me, I imagined that it was him holding me telling me that everything was okay. "I know baby girl, it'll be fine. I know you'll get over that asshole."

"I don't love him, I don't" I shook my head, denying the feelings that I had inside me. I was hurting, and he put me through it. "Well, you can't have heartbreak without love," Tina pointed out. "If your heart was really broken, then, at least you know that you loved him. It's okay to know that you love him, but I'm sorry you had to grow up this way. " She sighs, taking my face in her hands. "I get that you're hurt, but I can't fix it. All I can offer is comfort and a drink."

She slides her hand from my face, walking in the direction of the kitchen, and a few seconds later, she comes back with two glasses and a bottle of tequila.

Once we started drinking, there was a knock on the door making our heads snap to the door. Tina walked to open the door and when I saw who it was, I downed my glass feeling the burning sensation in my throat. I was feeling tipsy from just one glass, and I thought about what the whole bottle would do.

"Welcome!" I said, gesturing them to sit when they reached the living room. They watched as I sat and drank my heart out, not even offering any. It's my birthday. Why can't I celebrate with a broken heart?

"To bastards!" I said, gesturing to Vincent and Mason. "And to the girls that endure all the pain." I clicked Tina's glass while she watched me take another glass, "And to the absolute horror of getting a divorce a week before your birthday because you were stupid enough to like the bastard." I bowed while everyone stared at me. The anger radiated off Vincent while I took another glass. "This one is for you, my loving husband." I chuckled slurring as I got up, "I mean ex-husband, and you, if you may, please get the fuck out." I pointed between Mason and Vincent, a hiccup escaping my lips. "Both of you."

I swayed while I made my way to the bedroom. The entire place was spinning and I could feel my bladder getting heavy. I hit my knee on the table, and I winced at the pain, "that's what you get for being fucking careless. You don't look!" Vincent barked, and I had to snap my head in his direction. To my complete surprise, he was right in front of me.

"Me being careless huh! Don't tell me I'm fucking careless when you dared to fuck my heart up, "I said through hiccups, my voice coming out loud.

I threw the glass on the ground and stared at him, "Take it up and fix it. I want you to take my fucking heart and fix it without bleeding and ask me if it's okay. You wanted me to suffer? Haven't you had enough? Leave! I want you out of my life! " I held my throbbing head, shouting at him in anger.

"I'm not leaving," he casually said. I chuckled and shook my head, walking inside my room, locking the door behind me. My heart felt like it had been torn out of my chest by someone who didn't want it. What was I even thinking? I still felt apart of me loved him and the other boiling in anger.