Take You Back

CHAPTER 28

~Love can sometimes
be magic.
But magic can sometimes
just be an illusion.
-Author Unknown

I open the door to Vincent, expecting his greeting smile, but none comes. Instead, his mouth remains an uncharacteristic grim line amid. I looked between Scarlett and Vincent confused, why is she here? She walks past me and scoffs shutting the door with a loud bang. What a show-off.

"You called me?" I said looking at him, I was just at Tina's house when she called me from the hospital yesterday breaking the news about her getting engaged. I left in a hurry not knowing what was the result, technically she lied because of her selfishness she wanted me to spend a few days with her. After almost three days at Tina's Vincent called me up saying he needs to speak to me about something important.

Vincent looked stress, maybe because of work. Almost robotically his hand rises upward and passes me a folded piece of paper, his eyes almost as still as some billboard poster. I opened the paper slowly my heart banging, amongst my chest. What could it be, my mind came to halt when I saw the letters written in bold DIVORCE.

"You're kidding, right?" I ask, my voice coming out as a whisper his eyes met mines for the last time. My heart is pounding fit to burst and my fists have clenched. "No, Laura it's over the contract is all finished. and this is no joke" He slowly turns away, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes or so I thought how could I think that he actually has sadness in them. "You need to sign the papers today" I wanted to cry so hard, I wanted to scream at him for how he made me feel for how bad I've fallen in love with him and what we shared meant nothing for him.

"No!, why are you doing this now?" I crooked out, it was evident in my voice that I was tearing up apart inside. "What do you mean no we had a deal Laura and it's over now sign those damn papers!" Falling in love with Vincent was not planned. We were supposed to be friends, just him and I, and nothing in between.

"Tell me this was all a lie, tell me what you said was a lie and you don't love me" I screamed at him hitting his chest. "Yes it was a lie, everything was a lie I never loved you. I just used you for my own selfish reasons!" My heart panged everything that was happening between us was all fake and I was being used. I stepped back tears running down my face in disbelief, the ground seems so beautiful and quiet while I stared at the floor or maybe I'm dreaming and need to wake up from this nightmare.

Pain is caused by being rejected when you decide to give all your heart to someone who doesn't need it, I opened my heart so casually and easily causing it to be all broken. I see the anger flash, the urge to hide his true feelings, I crumpled inside all the while remaining composed. He had these feelings for four months and never intended to tell, forcing me into a life that wasn't quite right, not quite real.

He fed me lie, after lie, after lie. I was so foolish to let him take full advantage of me knowing I would fall for him and I'd believe every word. "I had such high hopes, such belief that whatever you said would come true. I shut out every word from all those mouths that had something poorly to say about you and yet you hurt me because of a stupid contract." I threw the paper in his face shouting spitting each word in his face. "I didn't ask you to believe anything, this marriage wasn't real, everything that we shared meant nothing to me." I forced out a smile but it was useless the pain was too evident and I couldn't bear it. "This ends now!" He barks out.

"I guess it does" I gulp down a sob and try to keep my composure as he walks away. My heart breaks into little tiny pieces; tears of regret blur my vision. I want desperately to call out to him, beg him to not leave me but it had ended the expiration date came quicker than I expected I was so caught up in the moment and too lost to see what was coming.

With each whispered word... a piece of my heart broke. He walked away, my happiness in his pocket. No longer was I on my feet, instead curled on the cold tiled floor, my mind devoid of the light he'd given.

My thoughts fell into an endlessly repeating loop, "Why? Why leave? Why? Why leave?" Because I was stupid.

I was stupid to let my feelings get the best of me to take a risk that I'll regret every passing day.

Heartbreak is a funny thing. We all know it's going to happen, yet we're never prepared for it. We underestimate its power. It's like giving a murder a gun and expecting not to be killed.

Tears ran down my cheeks each time I packed my bags my head keep banging, my heart wanted to be saved but nobody wanted me I was fully broken and shattered like glass.
I am alone again that's how I'll always be.

Staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I am shocked. I look okay, normal even. Inside, the ache for him gnaws at the very heart that still beats endlessly for him.

I pull my lips into a smile and let out a frightened sob when I realize that anyone could easily mistake this lackluster grin for real happiness. It amazes me to think; how can I look so ordinarily normal when I have crumbled inside?

I don't know why I split myself open for someone who would never even bother to show me the thread.

I look at the divorce papers over and over again, I constantly shut my eyes to see if it was a bad dream. This was a nightmare, a nightmare that abruptly started he gave me a dream I was too caught up in, and an instant, I was robbed.

My mind was laid waste, this wasn't a prank nor will he come to hug me and tell me it'll be okay Laura and that he loves me so much.

I'm still dreaming, aren't I? He used me then disposed of me like I was nothing. 

I cried until no more tears came, but still, the emptiness and sorrow remained. Dusk fell. On the first light of the day, my still crouched figure remained unmoved. There was nothing left, nobody left, no reason to move.

Even though I knew this was going to end in heartbreak, that he might make my life scary and complicated and unpredictable. I didn't prepare myself for it.