remission • trixya

xvi

katya looked down at her phone. it was 6pm. her doctors appointment was in an hour.

after coming back from the diner she had a long nap and watched big little lies. it was her favourite show, she knew everything about it and would never miss an episode for the world!

katya decided to leave the house at 6:30. giving her 30 minutes to do literally whatever she wanted before having to pack up and head to the doctors.

she opened her laptop, going onto youtube to watch a 15 minute video of somebody making a knife out of bread. literal bread, wholemeal bread.

the video ended with the knife maker having a super sharp knife that he could easily cut through paper. "this is cool. i like this man." katya wished that she had a talent to make knives out of bread sometimes. :(

she grabbed her keys, wallet and phone and left the house, making her way to the doctors which was about a 10 minute walk, leaving her with around 5 minutes to spare.

katya arrived at the doctors and went up to the receptionist.

"hi, katya zamolodchikova, 7:00." katya gave a small smile. the receptionist typed her name into the computer.

"your doctor is running a little late, your appointment won't be for another hour." the receptionist apologised.

katya sighed. "i'll wait, it's fine." she sat down in the corner of the room with an empty row of chairs next to her. she looked out the window, wondering why she reacted angrily at trixie to the extent that she did. katya knows how she feels about trixie, but the fact that she resulted into screaming at her shook katya to her core.

"hi. trixie mattel, 8pm." a voice said and katya opened her eyes to see the back of trixie. her legs were crossed over as usual and she had her hair down, she must've straightened it.

katya squinted her eyes to make it look as if she was sleeping uncomfortably, but so she was able to see trixie. she looks really pretty for being at the doctors. she didn't have to snap so hard oh my gosh.

trixie turned around and stopped when her and katya locked eyes. she turned to the first row and sat down with her back faced away from katya.

katya thought about what pearl said to her about making the first move. you were the one who yelled, katya. trixie would be waiting for you to talk to her because she feels that she's hurt your feelings and doesn't want to make things worse.

katya inhaled and exhaled. she had to go over to trixie, it was the right thing to do. katya stood up and slipped her phone in her back pocket. she noticed that trixie had her left hand placed on the seat and thought the first thing she should do should be to grab her hand.

katya paced to trixie's row of chairs and sat next to her, leaving the space of her hand free. katya quickly placed her hand on top of trixie's and doesn't say a word, she let the actions do the talking basically.

trixie turned her head to katya. neither of them said anything, they just sat there. trixie slipped her hand away from katya's to see if she would react. she did not.

trixie let out a small giggle when she saw katya's eye look at her from the side and linked her hand with katya, intertwining their fingers this time. it was good that trixie was good with katya, although she's sure that both of them know that they have to talk about what happened.

the two women sat next to each other but did not say a word for another twenty minutes. the only kind of ongoing contact they had was from their hands being held together since katya sat next to trixie.

"katya?" dr lee walked out of his office. katya stood up. she turned around to trixie and gave her a big smile and then walked into the doctor's office. she sat down on the chair and placed her items on the desk that separated her and dr lee.

"so, how have you been? i'm reading that you were admitted to hospital for an overdose."

"uhm, yeah." it was embarrassing for katya to talk about. "i just wanted to know if a change in mood had anything to do with symptoms of withdrawal."

"i'm going to check your blood pressure, if you don't mind." dr lee avoided answering katya's question. katya pulled up her sleeve and dr lee tested her blood pressure.

"so about the mood swings; that's actually a symptom of withdrawal as because of the drugs you've used, it rearranges your hormones and such. so now, because you've been clean since the hospital which has been around a month you'll continue to experience flu like symptoms, as well as heavy mood swings-"

"what do you mean continue to? i've just experienced these symptoms."

"how about lack of sleep?"

"i've always been like that." katya tilted her head.

"normally drug withdrawal symptoms happen in the first week, that's odd." the doctor thought aloud. "how about nightmares? did you have any?"

"yeesh. i can't remember my dreams, doc." katya tried to remember.

"true. do you remember waking up in a cold sweat?"

katya clicked her fingers, "yes. it happened a few times."

"that's also a symptom, a psychological one." dr lee wrote down on his little notepad. "when suffering from drug withdrawal you're likely to suffer symptoms that are physical as well as psychological." he stated, "psychological ranging from mood changes to paranoia. then physical ranging from muscle soreness to flu-like symptoms."

"by time i got into the hospital my body was hurting."

"there's another symptom." dr lee wrote down in his notebook.

katya and dr lee continued to talk about how to combat these symptoms if they ever were to get out of hand as well as prescribe katya opioid-free painkillers for her frequent headaches.

katya left the office, she closed the door and turned around to be only a few feet away from trixie who was staring down at her phone. nobody else was in the doctors except for the two of them as it was near closing time.

trixie placed her phone in her pocket and looked up at katya who was just standing there, staring at her. trixie let out a small chuckle. katya sat down next to trixie. m

"so-" trixie started and was then cut off by katya.

"after your doctors appointment meet me at your favourite ice cream shop. okay? bye." katya said quickly. then stood up and left in a sort of hurry leaving trixie in confusion.

her favourite ice cream place? why? that was odd.