golden longings

XV

***
Silence.
For a moment, there was absolute silence. In the room, and in Draco's head. Like his brain had shut down for a few seconds. As if by saying those words he had activated some kind of reset button.
But then, his thoughts tuned back in. Louder than before. And so did Pansy. She audibly squealed.
"Thank Salazar, I thought you'd never say it!" She exclaimed.
Draco was confused.

He had just threw a statement out there that would change everything. He'd admitted the one thing he hadn't even admitted to himself. And they hadn't run off yet.
"What do you mean?" He was really trying to piece things together.
Even if Draco had been aware of his tendencies for a long time, he had never called himself gay. Not even quietly, to himself.
"Oh, we knew." Pansy stated, a soft smile playing around her lips.
"For years." Balise added on.

Then, before he could escape, he was pulled into a tight group hug.
"I'm so proud you finally admitted it to yourself. And honoured you felt safe enought to share that with us." Pansy whispered softly into the hug, just barley loud enough for the two boys to hear.

It took a moment until Draco was able to shake off his two, suddenly very affectionate, friends.
"I'm not sure I actually meant what I just said there." Draco managed to stammer out.
He received two pitying looks for it.
"Honey, you don't need to be scared in front of us."
"Draco, mate, we're not exactly in a place to judge you." Blaise said a little playfully, hinting at his and Pansy's phenomenal lack of heterosexuality.

"I'm about as straight as a strand of Grangers hair." Pansy added and Draco couldn't help but smirk. That just sounded about accurate. And that she picked Granger's hair for comparison? No surprise to anyone.
A noise coming from the opposite side of the room caught Draco's attention. It was Neville, that had apparently dropped his book.
"You alright, Longbottom?" Balise immediately called over. The trio received a blank stare from the Griffindor boy.
"Are you alright? May we help you?"
Pansy asked in what almost sounded like honest concern.

But before anyone could seriously become concerned about the boy, a surprised gasp came from Longbottom.
"You mean...you just...you weren't out yet?"

It was Draco's turn to blankly stare accross the room.
"Excuse me, I must've misheard you..."
A widely smirking Blaise cut Draco off.
"Of course he wasn't. He's Draco bloody Malfoy, after all."
Draco was intensely staring at the black velvet duvets around his bed. He couldn't be bothered to look at anyone.
But his words were obviously directed at Longbottom.
"Wait, you knew- how did you bloody know?"

"Oh-"
Longbottom sounded rather taken back. "Well, you know, Harry..."
Without a single warning, Blaise broke out into loud laughter.
"Oh you absolute tosser" Draco murmured into Blaise's general direction. Thankfully, the firewhiskey he had had still kept him from becoming as terrified as he usually would have in that moment. But it was enough to make him tense up.
If Longbottom knew there was absolutely no telling who else had figured him out. Draco tried telling himself that maybe, just maybe it was because they were dorm mates. Maybe living in the same room he had somehow given himself away. In all honesty, Draco was just hoping. Hoping so much that no more people had caught on. He felt so ashamed.

That was when it hit him. Longbottom wasn't the first to assume Draco's sexuality. The night Pansy and Potter had brought him back after the party. Potter had called Pansy and Draco out for looking like they were straight when they were not. Admittedly, Potter had had a fair reason for his assumption, Draco recalled right after.
But, nevertheless, the boy who lived has apparently classified Draco as gay as well. The whole thing just looked worse and worse for Draco.