Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 16

This gets a bit steamy so careful young ones.

I let go of Jackson's hands and cross my arms over myself a little.

I knew it was just him, and that he had seen me so many times, but as the world stopped spinning way too fast for me to handle, I kinda realised how exposed I was.

Physically and emotionally.

And of course, I wouldn't pull back. I'm not like that anymore.

But It did pain me to know that out of everyone, it was still him.

He keeps looking at me, his eyes trained on my face and I just let my eyes fall shut momentarily.

I wasn't embarrassed that my friends had seen me like that, I just felt bad because I knew it must have been distressing, that I was so out of it.

I was actually ok, right now. Sat here in this room that I reference as my hell, I couldn't hear the court anymore.

I couldn't see his face, or well, I couldn't unless I wanted to.

I was back in control. Sometimes you need a storm to find the sun again. And I was ok.

But I was also half naked.

A little laugh rips through me and I open my eyes again to see Jackson's slightly weary ones.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because I have no clothes on." I say and a boyish smile grows on Jackson's face.

"I know."

He shakes his head at me in amusement again and reaches for the little bag on the bed. He takes Lucy's clothes out and it's just a large t-shirt and some shorts.

Jackson shakes the t-shirt out and opens it for me, and somehow him dressing me was even more intimate than when your clothes are coming off.

He takes one of my hands back in his and slips it through an arm hole, doing the same with the other but taking his sweet time.

He lifts the top so it goes over my head, letting his fingertips lightly brush my slides as he pulls my top down for me.

With myself covered, I prepare for his hands to leave me but instead they move towards my neck and he gathers my hair and pulls it out of the t-shirt, letting it run through his fingers and he pulls his hands back to his lap.

He didn't need to dress me, he knew that and I knew that. But it was a moment of weakness for the both of us, an excuse to feel his hands.

"It was a bad idea to come in here, wasn't it?" I whisper and smile sheepishly at his face.

He had a soft understanding smile on his face, where he didn't need to reply for me to know he agrees, definitely a bad idea, but he understood why.

"How are you feeling?" Jackson asks and I shrug, getting to my feet a little shakily. He follows suit and I can feel his presence watching me as I slide my leggings down and change out of them into the shorts Lucy brought.

"I feel better." I say and he furrows his eyebrows a little. I was always able to put myself back together after a bad episode, but he always knew that I was left feeling awful and more triggered than before.

Is it weird that breakdowns, although blatantly awful, they sometimes felt cleansing?

Even though I feel drained, I felt my head was much clearer than before. I just need to get out of this room. "I feel tired as well." I share and look back at him.