Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 45

*A little bit of Cole brightness at the start to lighten this sad chapter. I tried really hard to capture everything that was needed to be said. And to portray the impacts of assault through Ivy's words. I hope this is okay and I should put a little trigger warning here. Just- read and see what yous think. *

Lots of love.

"So um, do you have your passport and your driving licence?" Luca asks as he starts the car.

"Yeah." I say, my heart is thumping.

I just lied to everyone.

Like big time.

They are going to be so angry. God.

My parents and Jackson think that the girls are coming round and we are going to have a girlie day and drink homemade cocktails and the girls think I'm not up for it and am just having a quiet day with my mum and dad.

I was going to the prison.

"Okay so, they're going to search you. For one you are a new visitor and two they pat search everyone anyway."

"Oh god okay." I say and rub my sweaty palms on my trousers.

"Are you doing ok?" Luca says and I hum a little yeah.

"Luca you promise me I'm not walking into a dangerous situation?"

"I swear my life on it." He says and I feel my heart pull for him a little bit. He just loves his twin.

I hate his twin.

"I'm still going to write that statement Luca." I say quietly and he frowns a little.

"Then why are we doing this?"

"Because I need to know whether I should be living in fear if he does get out."

"You don't-"

"I know what you think Luca. I'm just saying I need to know. You, no offence, don't know your brother like I do."

"Okay. Did you tell Jackson in the end?"

"No."

"Oh god." He mumbles and I like how they are a little afraid oh him. Does that make me mad?

I think what I'm doing is actually more what makes me classified as mad.

Jackson hasn't really left my side in days, this was the first time we had gone our separate ways since Saturday evening.

I think he is the one who's going to be angry with me.

My phone starts ringing and we both freeze. God this seems like some sort of fucked up secret mission.

I pull it out of my bag and sigh in relief when I see its Cole.

I haven't told him.

But when I lift my phone to my ear, I decide I need to talk to a friend about this, and well, Cole is a friend that can't physically turn up and stop me.

"Hey."

"Hi Nena, where the hell have you been?" He laughs through the phone and I cringe, knowing I've been avoiding his calls for the last two days.

Not avoiding just- Jackson and I have been wrapped up in our own little world and I just didn't wanna cry again.

But I'm strong today.

I have to be.

"Hi, I'm sorry, things have been a little- um, how are you?"

"I'm good. What's been going on?"