Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 46

This is longgggggg lmao- hope you enjoy.

I am sat outside the prison on a bench. There's actually a few benches and I wonder whether this is a norm.

For someone to leave and need a quiet minute.

The sun is harsh and it makes me pull my hair into a pony tail. My face was dry, clear from all my tears and I actually feel okay.

Really shaky. Physically I can tell my body is in fight or flight mode.

But my mind is quiet.

I knew I would always have triggers. I have PTSD. It doesn't just go away.

But one day, I think I will be able to think about it and not feel so much pain.

I still feel it, the slow burning in my heart when I think about what Layton did to me.

But I, I just think it will be okay.

This was what I needed.

But goodness, do you recon Jackson will be mad?

I lift my phone out my pocket and stare down at my blank screen. For some reason I thought I would have been caught in my lies by now. But by the lack of angry messages or miss calls I know they don't know.

I press on Jackson's number and my body continues to shake in nerves. I almost roll my eyes at myself, at my anxiety.

Like chill. You just confronted Layton. You can talk to Jackson.

I lift my phone to my ear and wait for his voice to fill my ear.

"Hey you." He says and I smile softly.

"Hi babe."

"Oh 'babe'? Are you already drunk?" He chuckles and his tone is so light I pull a sheepish face at the floor in front of me.

"Nope." I breathe. "What are you doing?"

"Not much, just with dad at home. Are you okay?"

"Any chance you are free to pick me up?"

"From yours? I thought you were with the girls. What's-"

"I lied." I say and tap the bench next to me anxiously.

"What?"

"Please don't be angry with me. I just knew if I told you or my mum or my dad or well anyone you all would have tried to stop me."

"Where are you Ivy?" His voice is stern and I cringe.

"Um Stanford Hill."

Silence.

I hear him getting up.

"Ivy." His voice is harsh and I actually smile a little at it.

"I didn't mean to lie."

"Are you okay? Fuck sake Ives, why do you do these things by yourself."

I hear Jeremy in the background asking what's up and Jackson mumbles a little.

"She went to see Layton."

I mean, I hadn't told him, but why else would I be here?

"Are you mad mad?" I ask and he sighs.

"No I am concerned. Are you okay? Did you see him, what, why don't you tell me these blimming things?" He says and I laugh a little at his word choice knowing a kid must have suddenly appeared, he would have swore otherwise.

"I didn't want you to stop me."

"I would have stopped you are you mad. Do you not remember your last venture of closure?"