built memories | a sequel

21 - Leaving

» i wish you all a happy new year, i can't believe i don't update since last year *crowd boos* *leaves* i'm sorry
Anywayyyyyy , in the last chapter i dealt with a lot of people feeling confused with what happened, I KNOW it was awful and i don't know what i did there but there's an explanation along the text, i hope you understand now, something just ask now and i will answer :)

btw THIS IS HUGEEE

~*~

He puts Harry's journal on the side and stands up. He finally stands up and walks towards Harry, crouching down straight away when he reaches his side. His hand travel from Harry's leg, to his arm and then to his face. He makes the younger guy look at him by his hand pressed against his cheek and with the available one he puts one lock of Harry's long hair behind his ear. Finally.  

Then Louis nods.  

"I understand."  

Harry stares back at Louis, his lips a bit parted almost as if he is searching for something in Louis' face, Louis' eyes, Louis' touch, Louis' everything. Louis is smiling a little but Harry keeps with the blank expression, his cheeks getting warmer with Louis' gesture and it's been ages since this happened. Ages since these two shared such a tiny little space, where they could feel the other one breathing, could feel the other one alive.  

"You... You do?" Harry whispers, his voice hardly coming out but Louis understands. He could even understand just by reading his lips.  

Louis drops his hands from Harry's cheek, sliding in a way as if he was caressing his skin. Louis' gaze drops and he looks down, however his lips are still twisted into a smile. "Yes." He quietly answers, not sure if Harry hears it or not.  

And that's the moment everything hits Louis, so hard he even has difficulty to hold himself. This was something huge, what happened was something Louis never dared to even think about, to mention, to even think that it'd be a good idea to talk about with Harry. The precisely words weren't spoken, it was almost vague, filled with metaphors and words for Louis to decipher. But in times he was good with this, at reading Harry, so that's what happened now and Louis feels free again.   

Harry couldn't say it afraid of the consequences, afraid of the way it could come out but what Louis read made him understand that he and Harry are still in the same page of the same book, they were just ripped off and lost. But they were found out and now they need to be put on the same place so the book can make sense again, because they... they were the important part.   

Harry still has Louis kept in his heart and there's no way he can ever get out of there. There's wounds, like Louis has, but it doesn't mean they can't be cured. What Harry feels - and what Louis freaking feels as well - is something between having a crush on someone and saying I love to someone you truly want. He is not quite there because Harry is in love with the idea of being in love with Louis. He wants to love him, he wants to feel that beautiful feeling again, the warmness, the comfort, the relief of knowing that there's someone there to protect him, making him feel safe. That kept Harry alive for so many years, Harry lived for that feeling, lived for him and Louis only. His future was Louis, his present was Louis, everything was LouisLouisLouis.  

Harry knows he can't hurt Louis again. He can't and won't allow that to happen, it'd crash him, both. Louis won't let that happen too, he won't let himself break down again and fool himself that maybe he can have back the happiness he once won. That's why he - both, are afraid of trying again. This whole thing is complicated because they have this second chance to make everything even better, to make everything different so there's no room for mistakes.