Until This Lie Do Us Part

Chapter 18

Her sobs eventually subsided and her breathing returned to somewhat normal. Her mind raced though as her brain worked to restore her thoughts to safe mode. Because she is safe at the moment. His arms were still around her and his hand was slowly stroking her back. It was calming. She rested against him, her cheek pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

It was familiar, this safety she felt. Yet it was distant, too. Before her parents were taken from her, she had felt safe. Her mother had the answers to everything. Her father would have never let anything happen to her. And then along came Derrick who dissolved her safety and instilled fear. Even years later, she still operated in fear mode. She didn't date other men because she feared they would hurt her. She was cautious about where she was and who she was with, because Derrick could be lurking close by.

Elena never thought safety was possible after having met Derrick. But at this very moment, with his strong arms locked securely around her and his steady heartbeat present, she knew she did not just feel safe. She was safe. And it felt amazing. So amazing that she wanted to stay like this forever.

But she pulled away, embarrassed by the way she was seeking safety by clinging to him and crying. He gave her a weak smile though, his exhaustion showing all over his face. "Think you can go back to sleep?" he asked her quietly.

Elena shrugged slightly. "I don't know" she answered honestly. After a nightmare, she usually did not let herself go back to sleep. "I'm going to go downstairs and get a glass of water" she said instead.

"I'll get it" he offered, but she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"It's okay. I can get it" she said, crawling out of the bed. She turned back to him briefly. "You should try and get back to sleep" she told him. There was no sense in both of them staying up.

He watched her quietly leave the room before he lay back down. Although he was tired, his thoughts were keeping him from going back to sleep. Thoughts about her safety. He hadn't told Elena about hiring someone to find Derrick to prevent her from stressing out. But maybe it was necessary to tell her now to prevent harm. Now that Derrick knew where she was, Elena needed to know that he was around and she needed to be on the lookout. It broke his heart though. She didn't need to live in this immediate fear. Stefan ran his hands over his face in frustration before sitting back up and heading downstairs.

"Elena" he said, rounding the corner to the kitchen and surprising her. Elena jumped, dropping the glass on the floor and watching it shatter into a million pieces.

Her face went from surprise to regret at what she had just done. "I'm sorry" she said quickly, kneeling down and beginning to pick up the pieces.

It took Stefan a moment to move. He was still locked in on how sorry she was for accidently dropping a glass. A materialistic item. Something that could be replaced. "Elena don't" Stefan said, moving towards her, grabbing her wrists and stopping her. He shook the glass free from her hands. "You'll cut yourself" he said, standing her up and moving her around the kitchen.

"I'm sorry" she repeated, almost as if she were on autopilot. As if it was her coping mechanism. Just apologize and hope for the best.

Stefan stopped her at the sink and checked over her hands. They appeared to be okay. "It was an accident, Elena" he told her, searching her eyes. "It's no big deal" he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. She held his gaze for a long moment before slowly nodding. He grabbed her a new glass of water and directed her to a stool near the counter. He went in search of a broom and dustpan.

Elena didn't touch her water, choosing instead to just trace the top of the glass with her finger. When Stefan had finished cleaning up the mess, he took the seat next to her. He sat there silently for a few minutes before speaking. "Elena, I have to tell you something" he said quietly, not sure about how she would react. Elena turned to look at him, still running her finger along the rim of the glass. "I hired a private investigator" he said cautiously.