051. Emptiness

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(TW: Suicide Attempt - To those that go through this battle silently, you're not alone)

GEMINI STARED UP to the ceiling in her room. She was alone in bed for once. She didn't realise how weird it felt not having someone sleeping beside after Bucky had done it for so long. She had woken up quite late for her normal self. After two in the afternoon.

She could tell in her gut that this was gonna be one of those days. She only just managed to pull herself from her bed. She noticed that Dixon wasn't in her room, meaning that either the Barton children or Becky were there. 

She dressed herself with a lack of effort, pulling herself out of her room and sneaking passed the Avengers in the kitchen and living room. She didn't want to see anyone today. She didn't want to communicate with anyone.

She wanted to feel like a ghost, transparent and invisible. 

Sitting under the tree, behind it out of view of the Compound windows. The young children weren't in the back garden, meaning they were running around with Dixon elsewhere. She wasn't mad that they'd taken him, normally when she was going through this sort of thing she would be, but not today.

Doodling in her notebook, she drowned out everything around her with music.

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Bucky hadn't seen Gemini at all that day, confused as to where she was. He didn't want to smother the woman but he was concerned for her. She'd explained to him that she had days where she'd disappear and not want to be found for a while. He hoped it was only that. 

Gemini was still sat under the tree, the February air hit her face though she tried to cover it with her hood. She had gone from doodling to drawing to writing. Pages and pages of writing, none that she could understand though, her tears had blotched quite a lot of the writing.

She didn't want to burden the Avengers with this, especially not Tony. He'd already been there for her through one and it nearly destroyed him in the process. She couldn't go to Bucky, she knew it would worry him and destroy him also. She definitely would not utter a word to her family. She couldn't burden them with more of this weight, knowing sooner or later she'd destroy them too.

Because that's why Gemini did. She destroyed the people she cared about. 

Her thoughts flooded with the family members she had ever trusted with what she felt. The tears began streaming uncontrollably down he woman's face as she remembered them.

Her mother. Dead.

Her father. Dead.

Lyra. Dead.

Her Uncle Luka. Dead.

Her Aunt Mila. Dead

Theo. Broken, PTSD, Depression, Alcohol problem

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