Chapter 33

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'I'm definitely going to try and sleep on the plane.' Tara laughs, stepping onto the stairs of the private plane. To recover from the lies I told today, I explained to Tara that I was just feeling 'run down' and needed a day to rest, but I'm better now. She didn't seem to question it, and my reasoning makes sense after the long hours we've had recently.

'If we don't sleep on the plane then we won't have slept at all.' I laugh back, doing my best to put on a carefree face when nothing feels right under the surface.

Some of the private planes I've been on in my time with Harry look much more like a living room than a plane, but this one looks very much like a commercial airplane, just smaller. The colour palette is creams and browns, with pale leather seats in sets of two on one side of the plane, and single seats on the other.

It's nearly midnight, and neither Harry or I have slept, and after my crying fit just a few hours ago, I really need to sleep. We were told that the band couldn't waste any of the time that they would need in the studio, so our trip here is short and when we arrive in New York, we'll have just over two hours before the boys perform. Harry held me for what felt like forever, while I cried and cried. He didn't say anything, just held me to him. I don't know what he would've said, if even he wanted to say something, so it was probably better he just let me cry in the silence. It didn't solve any of our problems or fix anything else, but for a second I wasn't focused on anything else but the way he was holding me, and that was something I needed. So for now, I'm going to try to forget L.A. and leave all our problems there.

I follow Tara down the aisle, and she touches each seat that we pass. I watch Harry, who is a few people in front of me, sit down in a seat, and his eyes meet mine. He looks so tired, but his green eyes are soft when he looks at me. It's moments like these when I know that I can't let go of him, and it makes every other fight seem irrelevant. From the anger, borderline fury, that I was feeling just a few hours ago, my emotions towards him have calmed dramatically. It might be slightly dysfunctional, but I can't ever seem to hold anger for very long when it comes to him.

He's still watching me when Leslie sits down, and she makes direct eye contact with me as she does it. Harry's gaze shifts to her the second she sits beside him. If Harry and I are on a flight together, we are almost always, without fail, beside each other. Not tonight apparently, and it seems like just another thing that his work has gotten between for us.

I have to remind myself daily that Leslie is only going to be here for a little while to help the new management adjust. Not that any of them are much better than her. I've admitted to myself that I just don't like the management, but there's nothing I can do about my own personal distaste.

I hear a 'Soph, sit with me,' come from beside me, and that pulls me out of my thoughts. I look down to see Niall, patting the seat next to him with a tired smile. Niall has this way of pulling me out of my moments of spiralling thoughts with his warm presence and friendly smile. Tara sits in one of the single seats across the aisle from Niall, and she gives me a look to tell me to sit with him.

'Glad to see you here.' Niall laughs when I sit down, and I nod in agreeance.

The lights dim on the plane and soon enough, we're in the air. I can only see the back of Harry's seat from where I'm sitting, but I can only assume Leslie is talking his ear off. I watch the majority of everyone on the plane fall asleep, accompanied by neck pillows or blankets. The group of people on this plane are well experienced flyers, and most of them manage to fall asleep almost instantly. I crane my neck around to see behind my seat, to find Liam asleep on Louis's shoulder, and a very displeased looking Louis trying to fall asleep too.

'Soph, I gotta ask you something.' Niall says, in a very hushed voice.

'Anything.' I respond quietly, praying that this 'something' will distract me.

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