The Adjacent Room [h.s]

Chapter 35

The trip back from New York was another red-eye flight, early in the morning. I nearly exploded when we were told we'd all be going straight from the airport to the studio for the boys to write and record. For the sake of Harry, I managed to detonate my explosion.

The day at the studio was uneventful. More coffees, more emails and more conversations with everyone but Harry, who seemed lost in his own world with a frown, his black notebook and a guitar.

Eleanor called while I was at the studio, asking if I'd like to go out for dinner with her and Maya. I accepted instantly, very excited at the idea of a welcomed distraction. I was in no state to be going out to dinner, so I left the studio at 6 and quickly went back to Harry's house to get ready. I opted for a black short sleeve milkmaid top, straight leg jeans and strappy white heels. I added minimal gold jewelry and a small Prada black bag. A slightly unloyal decision to YSL, but it was the first bag I saw and I was in a rush.

We decided on an Italian restaurant called Felix Trattoria in Venice. In the dark, the restaurant is beautiful. A white brick exterior, with windows everywhere to show the warm ambience of the interior. The inside has dark wooden floors and expansive windows, with lots of pops of colour in tiles and wallpaper. We're taken to a plush leather rounded booth in the corner of the room.

'There's a lady filming us over there.' Maya laughs, taking her leather jacket off and sitting down. Recently, I've become increasingly used to being filmed and photographed everywhere I go. I'm used to supportive fans coming up, but not random people filming me all over the place. It sort of just feels like the norm now anyway, even though I'd much rather be able to go somewhere without a home movie being made of me.

'Should we smile and wave?' Eleanor jokes, her face showing she's clearly considering the idea. Out of all of us, she's the one most expert when it comes to being recognised in public. Eleanor opens a menu, and Maya and I do the same.

'I'd rather not.' Maya laughs, obviously deciding to ignore the makeshift paparazzi at table 21. 'How are things? I feel like I haven't seen you two in ages.' She asks.

'It's..busy. A lot going on I guess.' I respond, answering truthfully but shielding the part about Harry and I. I try to escape the thoughts of him and I all the time, but they're never far away. Tonight, they're all about whether he's home from the studio and what he's doing. I highly doubt he's home, and it wouldn't surprise me if he's still not home by the time I get home from here.

'Really busy. I'm craving travel at the moment to be honest.' Eleanor adds in.

'I'd love to travel. It's so busy, isn't it? It feels like I don't see Liam much anymore. I'm at his house most days, but half the time I'm asleep when he leaves or when he gets home.' Maya says. It might be slightly selfish to say, but it's comforting to know that I'm not the only One Direction girlfriend who doesn't see her One Direction boyfriend much. Still, Maya's eyes are bright at just the mention of Liam's name, and I'm scared that mine aren't anymore when I talk about Harry.

'I know the feeling.' I laugh, trying to shield all the feelings from coming to the surface with some forced laughter. It feels like there's so much I could say, and the words are practically jumping out of my throat. I know that I need to talk to someone about everything happening with Harry and I, and maybe even everything happening with the band and the management, but I can't bring myself to tell anyone. Not even my own mother. Saying the words make it true, and I'm not ready to admit what's happening. I've admitted it to myself, but telling someone else makes it feel too real. It's staring at me right in the face almost every second at the studio and at Harry's house - the house I'm supposed to be moving into, but I can't let it be real yet. Maybe that's the reason I keep busying myself with other distractions, like dinner right now and brunch with my mom yesterday.