Loveliest Regrets

45. Ashamed of you

Briar's POV
My mind was so occupied, I couldn't think about anything. While even the slightest noise in the room was ringing in my ears, I felt my inner self was growing numb. It was a strange feeling.

Fear was overbearing. But at the same time I was concerned about him. Yes, I sound foolish to worry about anyone else right now except for myself, but I just couldn't let the thought slip. My hands kept shaking like someone has sucked in all the energy from my body.

The room was cold and I could hear heels tapping the wooden floor. Every voice in the area could be heard, because the deathly silence gave me an assurance what the gossip was going on about. Everyone is free and now they got a hot topic to talk about.

But I couldn't possibly care less.

I had something more important to think about. My parents. I have no idea how I am going to answer them anything they ask. Saying I was scared was an understatement, because the fact that I wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes, when we talk this time was killing me inside. A weird feeling as if something was hitting my head constantly, irritated me.

I was asked to move to the guest quarters till my parents come up to pick me up tomorrow. Faint memories of me having my first kiss in the same place rushed back. Things have changed drastically. I thought to myself.

I didn't sleep even for a single minute that night, I was wide awake like I've never felt the need to rest. The fact that I would be required to answer questions for which I have absolutely no answers, wasn't letting me rest. The tension was building up. Every breath I took in was making my chest heavy.

>>

I was waiting, trying to find answers in the mist of which I never realized that heat was slowly taking over the day. It was almost the time when the first period bell rang. I could sense students moving and talking. The silence surrounded me and even the slightest sound tickled me.

I was laying in bed until I felt a little knock on the door. I quickly got up, reaching for the door meeting Mrs. Adrienne. She looked at me with a look I can't describe quite properly. Even when she clearly looked upset, a major hint of disappointment echoed through her facial expressions.

'Never knew she could do this.' Yes, that's exactly what her eyes reflected.

Taking a deep breath she said in a low voice, as if she didn't want to initiate any conversation with me unless it's too important, "you are requested to come to the principal's office, your parents are here."

She turned away. Within seconds I was following her in the gallery, taking heavy steps as it was hard to move through the same place which was my favourite area until a few hours ago. The difficulty to step was felt in every single nerve in my existence. Each and every cell in my body screamed the nervousness which was too much to handle.

I could hear Mrs. Adrienne's heels stomping on the floor loud and clear. There was no one in the gallery except for us which made that entire journey even more intimidating. I wanted to run away and hide in a corner so no one could see me getting drown in my anxiety.

Fear was spread all over me, palms sweaty and a wave of goosebumps going up and down every two minutes was just a minor effect, because what I actually felt in that moment was unexplainable. My senses started working when we reached the office door and now it was time when I had to step inside. It was like the climax but I just kept hoping that I die on spot rather than experiencing what I was going to see.

Mrs. Adrienne knocked on the door and gently opening it, gestured me to move forward, while she held the door for me, giving me space to entire inside. My heart was almost in my mouth, I could feel my heartbeat in every part of my body. My entire existence throbbed with fear and anxiety.

My head was down but when I looked up, my breath vanished as if there was no air in the room. A vaccum of guilt sucked in all of me, shooting the feeling of shame at me like a bullet.

And that's when I saw them.

Mom and dad sitting across the principal's table. My vision became blurred as tears pooled in and I just gave up putting up that fake facade of bravery which was all useless in that moment. I felt extremely dominated by the aura in the room. It was so dark and scary.

I sniffed as I got a running nose, accompanied with leaking eyes which dripped with tears of fear.  I cried. I knew I would break but this was a little too early than I expected. Yes, if I am being brutally honest, the fact that I had to answer my parents about my relationship with a man almost double my age was the major reason of tension.

Fear was the dominant feeling, undoubtedly.

"Briar. I think you've already been informed about you being temporarily suspended from the school?" Mr. Brian asked.

"Yes, sir." Mrs. Adrienne said.

"Hmm, it's all settled now, I guess. Mr. and Mrs. Carrington, take her home, she needs to clear her head. After all it's the age where you make mistakes right? But then again, you're her parents, you know much better than I will ever do." He said to my parents who were just sitting there quietly.

"Briar has always been one of the best students. But sometimes situations make people do things we aren't supposed to do. It's all a part of life you see. It's the age of getting distracted. I personally didn't want to take such brutal actions against her, but my personal liking cannot indulge with the matters of our entire institution. So, as I already said, she's going to be suspended till the time all this situation calms down. We will inform you as soon as possible and invite Briar back, till then spend time with your daughter sir, she would understand." He said looking at dad who slightly nodded somehow managing to look up to him.

"Well, I would leave y'all to talk for a few minutes maybe, after that we can continue with the leaving process." Mr. Brian said as he got up from his seat, leaving me, mom and dad alone in the room.

Shit.

He left the room with Mrs. Adrienne and now it was just us. I could already sense my mom getting up from her chair and looking at me. She soon came closer and held both of my shoulders. I couldn't look up, but I could feel her grip getting tightened, in anger? I honestly don't know, because I could definitely assume, anger was not the only feeling present in her at that moment.

"How could you, Briar? There are many mistakes to commit, but not the ones like these." She said and then left me because she couldn't handle her tears in.

What she said to me didn't break me as much as her tears did. Never thought I would become a reason for tears in her eyes. My breath hitched and nothing except air came out of my mouth. I was totally blank but still acted like I'm trying to think of something to hide my mental breakdown, when I heard words which hit me hard like a truck.

"I'm ashamed of you." Dad said.

Those were truthful words, that left deepest scars on my soul, shattering me in a million pieces.

This was it for the chapter.

I haven't updated in a long while, lot of things happened, I can't even explain y'all in mere words, but I hope you all are doing good.

I'll update like usual, on weekly basis.

I love you all very much.

Hope you have an amazing week.

Till then, see you all my loves.

:)