Loveliest Regrets

48. I Love You

Briar's POV

I looked up at the sky thinking to myself, how I would miss this soft fragrance of the freshness of this place. Sounds cliché as it is, but I can't possibly forget the memories of this neighborhood. But, the daylight was slowly dominating the ambience all across darkness I encountered.

It's interesting to feel a strange harmony with this environment as if I'm deeply connected to it. I felt a huge load on my shoulders but at the same time I was relieved. My head was almost digging in the hand rest of the couch in the front yard, near our fireplace. The pain on the temple of my head felt nice as I waited for mom. Aurora invited my entire existence to start something new it seemed.

We were leaving for the airport.

"Briar, is this your charger?" Mom asked, with a white adapter in her hand.

"Nah, mine is in my bag." I said pointing to my handbag on the table in front of me.

"Alright. Well, go to the car, dad is there. I'll be there in a minute." She said and went back inside.

I took a deep breath before standing up and dragging my feet towards the car. I felt tired, maybe because I was up all night or because I was packing. Whatever may be the reason, realizing the number of muscles I was moving with each step made walking feel like a never-ending task.

My emotions were a like a pool of mixed drugs. One is better than the other, yet I can't choose a single one. The dilemma of navigating through this misty way felt exciting but the fear of leaving him dominated every thought. Heavy steps and an unwilling urge to strive for something great, is this really something I want?

"Briar, come in quickly, we'll be late. Where is your mom?" Dad asked when I opened the door.

"She said she will be here soon." I said as I sat on my seat, buckling the belt.

He nodded and I shifted my eyes to the window staring at the smoke tree in front of my house. My first friend. I remember calling it berry-berry and spending hours with it, when later I took admission at the boarding school. The purple leaves always looked distinct yet a part of the ambience. It was impossible to not stare at the tree even if it was just briefly.

That's what I liked about it, appearing like an innocent camouflage but having the power to electrify every room it stands in. A quality I would love to absorb.

My attention shifted to mom as she sat in and said "Let's go."

I watched the sun following us, the empty road was like a racing track. The engine started and a sudden rush could be felt in my stomach, I knew what it was yet a feeling of something unexpected held me, I wanted to be surprised but I was scared. Its very hard to explain what I felt. But, well, I chose most of it myself, so, I had no regrets. Blood rushing under my skin like a waterfall, I wanted to forget about existing and live in this exciting feeling.

The car moved fast and the trees appeared like silhouettes, running back but at the same time almost attacking me. Maybe my gloom was taking over and the feeling of suffocation never left. Somehow, I was enjoying it, holding my heart. The little, easily manipulated, goof ball inside my chest was under my protection. But for how long?

Feels like my heart stares at me before making any mistake and foolish enough, my existence, I let it take control. But, now, I won't let it become supreme, I won't let it drive me to the deep end. I was prepared to start a new chapter in my life.

Soon enough we reached the airport, it was still cold. A trail of goosebumps ran through my skin when I stepped out of the car. Helping the luggage out the car, I dragged it inside with my parents who were following me with the other bags. Naturally, my hand dived into my pocket and I noticed my AirPods were not there. I halted and turned back to my dad.