Perfect Storm

31- Tawny

A week and a half ago, my life forever changed after those shocking revelations I never saw coming came to light.

My life felt shattered to the point where I felt my mother's soul come into mine, hoping to talk me into going where she is.

Everything I learned was too much, and I wasn't exactly sure how to handle all the disturbing information I had received.

The secrets.

The lies, deceit, and betrayals.

The double life my father's been living.

The reasoning behind my mother's depression and what helped lead my mother to feel she was no longer needed or wanted on this planet—becoming just a woman of the past.

All of it had me wanting to go off the deep end and do as my mother had done. But after experiencing what I had, I knew doing something like that wouldn't solve anything. I also knew it would only leave the questions I wished to know unanswered and leave those who love and care about me devastated and broken-hearted.

The exact circumstances my mother left with me.

So, instead of acting on my emotions and ignoring the issues, I decided to face them. And after visiting with my father, Aliyah, and siblings. I felt time away from everyone in my life was much needed. And to understand everything I learned and saw, I knew it had to be alone.

The night I left Aliyah's, I hopped in my vehicle, drove away, and drove without knowing where I was going. Finally, after an hour of driving around Minneapolis and not knowing where I wanted to go to be alone, my car decided for me. And it led me onto a highway full of travelers, truckers, and other drivers driving to their desired destinations.

At first, I didn't realize where I was heading until after crossing the bridge over the Saint Croix River and seeing the Welcome to Wisconsin sign. At that moment, I knew I was en route to Wisconsin Dells. And since that's where I was heading, I knew there was no turning back, as I had to see what my brother and sister got to enjoy without me.

I never expected that being at the Dells would cause me to feel depressed more than I was until I saw all the rides, water slides, parks, and everything else that came with the attraction area-seeing the smiles-listening to the screams-hearing the laughter. Everything I saw and heard made me realize how much of a mistake it was to be there, and I knew I needed to leave.

Immediately.

So, I got back in my car and sat there for the longest time, thinking. Then, after much thought, I realized that it's weak people who seek revenge and the strong ones who forgive. That's when I decided I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself and accept reality, forget the past, forgive the ones who did my mother and me wrong and focus on the future.

My future...

My future with Ian.

I had my phone off the entire time, so after turning it back on and I saw all the missed messages and voicemails from Ian, Skye, and Hannah, I realized the mistake I made by not informing anyone of where I went, where I was, and that I was okay. So, instead of causing more worry to the ones who loved and cared about me, I drove back home. I went inside my parents' home, stood by the front door, and scanned the area. Then, seeing there was no reason for me to be where I was, I left and drove to the home of the one person I needed to see, hoping he'd be home.

Life always seems to have a funny way of working itself out, and it happens just when you start believing it never will. Because Ian, with no questions asked, gave me exactly what I was looking for and needed the night I showed up unannounced on his doorstep.