196.
I wish I didn't feel selfish when I said how I wanted to be chosen first.
How I wanted to be wanted and desired for.
Instead of being put on the back burner because of someone better.
Someone greater, prettier, skinner.
I wanted to be missed when I wasn't around.
I wanted to be someone that you couldn't see yourself without.
But I was just deluding myself with my own delusions.
~E, delusional.
197.
I wanted a future with you.
I wanted to be your someone that you searched for far and wide.
When your sunny skies turned into storm clouds.
When breathing was something that was more seen as an option than a grantee.
I wanted to be someone that helped you survive.
But I wasn't.
I was someone you wanted to have on a string and only pull along when you needed me for something you wanted.
Something you couldn't attain on your own.
Something that was out of your reach that you needed someone else to help you get.
I was just someone you needed when you needed something from. Not the one you wanted when you didn't want anything at all.
~E, ball on a string.
198.
How is it so easy for you to love others with your whole heart.
When someone else hasn't loved you with all of their's?
199.
Why couldn't you look at me that way?
The way you looked at her.
The way you talk to her.
The way you actually look interested in what she's saying.
The words that pour out of her mouth.
The smiles and the words I cannot hear.
The overbearing jealousy I hold.
For someone I cannot have.
~E, you were never mine to begin with.
200.
I hope there comes a day when you're healed from the things you don't talk about.
YOU ARE READING
sunsets after dark. | poetry collection
Költészetfor the ones that were the sunshine for one wrong person then became the midnight rain for everyone else. an collection of poetry and short stories. ‼️TW‼️ contains hard topics including a mention of SA & SH. Amongst other things. I am a poet I wr...
