sunsets after dark. | poetry collection

221. - 225.

221.
I want you to feel all that you made me feel.
The sweet and loving parts and even the parts where you made me feel like nothing.
A speck of dust in the air.
I want you to know how it was to be me.
To be in my shoes.
I hope that every time someone mentions my name that you regret how you made me feel. When all I wanted to do was show you love.
~E, I guess that wasn't enough.

222.
I wanted to live the high school dream.
The one that was seen in movies.
The one where people wish they were you.
The dream of being invited to parties and after parties.
To make dumb decisions with even dumber boys.
I wanted to have stories that blew people's minds that get told over and over again.
Then starting with someone new and the cycle being repeated all over again.
The one that gets passed down from my kids to their kids then to their kids.
The dream only seen in movies were their life is written out for them.
The same scene edited over and over again until perfection.
Where if they didn't make the one decision it wouldn't guarantee the same ending.
But a good ending was guaranteed.
Once the story ended and the good ending was guaranteed there was stories to tell from one generation to the next.
~E, not like the movies.

223.
For 3 months I was treated as a person instead of a spec in the air.
But as time went on I became less of a person and more of a spec in the air.
All because of someone else.
Someone else that was so much more than I was.
They were a whole person,
and I was only half.
~E, finding my worth in other people.

224.
I wish you could see how tired I was.
Of trying to fix something that I didn't break.
Getting paper cuts and glass on my hands.
Trying to meddle and put together a broken glass ball that was never whole to being with.
~E, realizing my lost efforts.

225.
We are
too much to be nothing and
too less to be something.