LOVING BEYOND LIMITS - loving me will give you pain....

CH-19 I'm a loser ~

-Purnima POV-

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting out all the unnecessary thoughts from my mind.

I dig my face in the pillow that i had placed under my chest. And muttered slowly....

" i met him...Siddhi!! "  , i muttered under my breath.

---silence---

When i did not heard her saying anything, i looked up in her direction and by observing her facial expressions, i could easily said that she got confused about whatever i said.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply while controlling the floods of thoughts in my mind.

I opened my eyes and looked at her and she was looking confusingly at my face. I took a deep breath and exhaled it... then i started telling her the whole story about me and him.

How we met. How he always treated me like a fragile rose patel. How much he loved me. How i broke up with him because of my insecurities and fears. How i met him again after six long years and most importantly thing was.... he still felt same for me.

I told her each and every little thing from the start to the end, not hiding anything.

Few seconds passed then she asked..., " What is his name?? "

" Vishwajeet! " i mumbles under my breath, digging my head in pillow.

I countinued futher....

" i am feeling scared now Siddhi!!. i do not know what should i do and what i don't ?, i will not be able to endure the pain of seeing him breaking again infront of my eyes neither i wanted to break him apart again. I don't understand anything at this point, goshh!!! I think i will go mad now!! " , Tears collected in my eyes as i completed my sentence.

She came closer to me and started feathering her hand on my hairs to clam down me as i started crying.

" I seriously do not know why this all is happening with me only??, what wrong i did to someone to get punished like this??. It is only mine loss in both the side; neither i could see him breaking apart nor i could break my father reputation and name infront of the whole village!!. I am such a loser Siddhi... a damn pathetic loser!! Who only brings pains in her loved ones lives... " ,  i started crying harder, the burden of the emotions was too much for me to handle all alone.

I futher pressed my face in the pillow and countinued..., " i. sho..uld.. h.ave.. bee.n.. di.e!!, i do.. not.. des.erve. to..live.... Siddhi. "

I said while hiccuping badly.

She hugged me immediately from behind while caging me in her arms tightly.

I cried insanely feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts and pain.

---15 minutes later---

" शांत हो जा punnu, कितना रोए गी hmm... शांत हो जा मेरी जान!, बहुत जल्द ही सब ठीक हो जाएगा... तू चिंता मत कर hmm. "

" calm down punnu, how much will you gonna cry hmm... clam down darling!, everything will gonna fine soon... do not worry too much hmm."

She said while comforting me.

I slow down my cries a little and turned back to look at her, who was hugging and patting my back continuously.

She looked at me and forwarded her hand and cupped my cheeks while wiping off the flowing tears from my cheeks.