More than friends, less than lovers

I never seem to learn

I may say it was your fault 

because i know you could have done more

How could this be done

by such a smiling sweetheart?

/Naive - The Kooks/

They knew everything that had happened to me, they were the ones by my side. Sometimes I felt like I was the weak link in this family, screw it, I was the weak link, that's why they just forgave me for fucking up nonstop. Hell, they could of been killed, but they just forgive me.

Just because of the one mission they avoided to talk about.

The mission in which I lost her.

Janes POV

After the awkward drama that went down, we just watched movies and, obviously, ordered more food than any normal person could eat. But, hey, we are having workouts at least 50% of our day, so no judging! 

Right now Liam was drolling all over the poor teddy bear that he was hugging as if his life depended on it, Marc was also fast asleep, pizza still hanging from his mouth and loud snorts escaping his lips now and then, Lilly was asleep on Connors lap, who was now trying to get out and as soon as he did, he put a blanket over her and kissed her head. I was watching this, amusement written all over my face. They just might be throwing knives at each other at day, yet kill anyone that ever tried to hurt the other. Oh, young love.

Connor caught me smiling like a weirdo and rolled his eyes, "Don't even start with that look, Jane!" 

He turned around, so I followed him. 

"Have no idea of what you're talking about, Con!" I just laughed it off. 

He poured us both a glass of orange juice. 

"Are you okay?" I stopped playing with the candle in front of me and raised my head to see the person that asked me. This beautiful, young boy, who had his whole life in front of him, yet had lost so much. 

"What do you mean, Con?" and so the stare-down begun.

"You know exactly what I'm asking, J," he stared, anger clearly shown in his features.

"I don't know what-" my excuse of a speech was interrupted by a very angry Connor slamming his hand on the table. 

He was young, but never dumb.

"You fucking left us!" Connor was burning holes in me, meanwhile I was silently sitting there, with my head down, "look at me."

I refused, I knew I had done a damage and it would of been better if I never came back. Gladly none of them was dead.

"I said look at me!" he breathed.

And so I did, not quite ready for what was before my eyes. A scar, nasty looking one at that and countless bruises, but they were nothing, as it was part of our everyday routine. It was clear he had had a surgery. I quickly stood up, checking the scar.

"What happened, Con?" I whispered, "who did this to you?"

He removed my hands, as he looked at me, "this is nothing compared to Lilly and Liam. Lilly was in coma for a month, Liam was beaten everyday by them, just to get out information, he nearly survived, you should of seen it, it was terrible. They were drowning him everyday, until he passed out and then would pull him out. They cut him for each time he didn't say anything, then healing him and doing it again. I don't even know how he is alive and well right now."