More than friends, less than lovers

Ran out of energy

And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours

But I sang 'em all to another heart

And I wanna cry I wanna learn to love

But all my tears have been used up

/Another love - Tom Odell/

"Jack, El wants to talk to you," Nick said, staring at us, it being obvious he had heard our conversation.

"Wish me luck," Jack said, getting up.

And I really did because not having either of these guys in my life would be like not having a part of me in place.

Elenas POV

It had been a few hours since my mental breakdown. I had clearly spent the whole time crying. The tears wouldn't stop coming.

It wasn't that easy to process the fact that I had spent 2 years as a completely different person, with no memories of my past life. Even shittier was the fact I had lost my parents before 2 years, yet only had memories of them yesterday. 

And then there was the boy I finally had memory of, every bone in my body ached to be in his arms. I didn't want to lose a second of my life without it now that I had lost 2 years. However, I couldn't deny it - it was painful. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him because every time I would, he would remind me of them, because he was the closest thing I had related to the memories of my parents. The dinners, awkward talks, funny moments and everything we had shared as a couple with my parents. 

Nick sighed as he yet again wiped tears from my cheeks away. I had no clue as to where the tears even came from since I hadn't drank or eaten anything the whole day. I was exhausted to say the least.

"El, we both know I shouldn't be the one comforting you at the moment."

I tried my best to pull myself together, slowly removing myself from Nicks arms.

"What should I do?" I looked at him, probably looking like an absolute mess.

"My opinion doesn't really matter, since we both know you'll do what you think is the right thing anyways," he laughed at me. 

"Well yours is the only opinion I am asking for, so.." 

Honestly, I just needed someone to think what I was about to do wasn't a going to be a huge mistake. 

"Honestly.." He started.

"Nick, cut the bs, you're always honest, so get to the point," I rolled my eyes.

He smirked: "all I have to say is that whatever you do, keep your own happiness as your number 1 priority. That's all I care about and that's the only thing you should think about before making any decisions as well."

And this, ladies and gentlemen is why this grumpy, stone faced jerk is my best friend. Because actually that's all that he isn't. Sure, he may often come off strong on the jerk department, but once you get to know him past all that, he is the most amazing person ever, and it weirded me out that in the past we'd not even be anywhere near friends. However, there were strong reasons behind it, so it kind of made sense too.

"I'll go get him," he said, patting me on the head as if I was a dog, which used to make me mad but once I got used to it and dropped my sassy attitude, it became a part of our daily routines.

 I sat there, feeling my hands sweat. This never happened to me. But the old me was peeking through and now that I remembered him fully, as well had my feelings far stronger before, I assumed this was a normal thing now. 

Second felt like hours, trying to go through what I should say, how I should behave. 

And then I heard a quiet knock on the door, my head snapping to him, forgetting whatever I had gone through before and surprising myself as I quickly ran to him, locking him in the tightest hug ever. 

He seemed to not have been expecting this, as only a few seconds later I felt him hugging me back. 

I breathed in his scent, feeling his warmth take over my body, hearing his heartbeat loud and clear. I needed him and I knew it. It was as if I had only just gotten him back, seeing him with different eyes, feelings so many emotions towards the guy. He was everything to me, he had become everything the second my parents passed away, yet somehow fate tore us apart. 

"I love you," I whispered, only seconds later realizing what I had just said, my eyes widening as I pulled away, taking a step back, "oh my. Jack, I am so sorry, I don't know what's-"

"I love you too, Elena," he said, interrupting me. 

He was so sure of it, you could hear the confidence and love radiating off his voice. He had waited quite a while to say it to the person he actually loved, to the person who loved him back and had memories of him. To the person I was now. But the person I was now was broken. And so was the love for him. As much as I needed him like cuts needed stitches, he also tore me apart. 

"I love you," I repeated, this time with confidence and looking into his eyes. I did, so there was no reason to try and deny it. 

I took a step towards him, taking my hand in his: "and I missed you."

He looked at me unsure of what to do or say. It was clear because we both knew what was bound to happen sooner or later. But as for now I pushed everything to the side, except my love for this guy. 

I stepped to the side, closing the door behind him, then slowly taking steps towards him as he stepped back, eventually not having place to step back to. I cupped his cheek with my other hand, slowly leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips. 

This is what I missed, the feeling he gave me. All I cared about was here and now. I was present, enjoying every second of the moment. 

I looked in his eyes, noting how confident I am about my decision: "stay with me tonight."

His eyes seemed to become a darker shade of hazel, as he nodded and leaned in to kiss me. 

While we got lost in kiss, he picked me up, walking to the bed and placing me down, crawling on top of me. 

The clothes soon disappeared, every touch sending shivers through my body, every kiss making me feel alive again. 

It was gentle and beautiful. We lived for the moment, for tonight not trying to think about what tomorrow would bring, but the silence, our bodies gave away what we tried to push away. 

As we intertwined our fingers, our bodies becoming one, we gave a silent promise that we would never again forget about the love we shared no matter what came between us.

I woke up at night, slowly removing myself from Jacks arms.

I went to my wardrobe, seeing the suitcase I had packed beforehand. I sighed, putting on a dress and shoes, quietly carrying the suitcase downstairs. 

After I found a pen and paper, I wrote a small note for Nick, letting him know I'll be gone for a while, also mentioning he knows how to reach me just in case.

Then right on time, my car arrived, the man stepping out and helping me to place the suitcase in the back. It wasn't anything much, just a few pieces of clothing, make up and electronic devices, after all I could easily buy whatever I needed once I settled in.

The driver, who was actually my new bodyguard, drove away from the house, already knowing where to go since my manager had taken care of it all.

I wasn't running away from pain, that was what I tried to tell myself at least. It was simple - I needed time to figure myself out, figure out who I am, because now I have 2 different people in me - the one before the accident, with a beautiful life, and then the other after the accident, with no memories of past. This is for myself, I need to find myself again. Of course, it is obvious that Jack will be hurt, but we both knew it was coming, it had to be done sooner or later. 

All I know is that I love him and that I wish he will understand and wait for me.