More than friends, less than lovers

Over being sorry

I woke up in a king size bed, quite modern room in which mostly everything was either white, silver or glass. 

I groaned, knowing the fact I probably had passed out crying and hadn't changed before falling asleep, but somehow there was only a huge Jacks t-shirt on me. Let's add this to being things to remember list.

A warm breeze was coming through the open balcony and beautiful white curtains, seemingly inviting me to get up and pull myself together. I cannot let this ruin my vacation and I won't.

Since all my bags were here, I went for a quick shower and freshening up, after the shower putting on a cute white jumpsuit with cute lace detail around the bra part, my back only covered by a white string from the front. 

After trying to calm myself down for 5 minutes, I made my way downstairs, searching for a kitchen in this huge mansion and gladly I found it after a minute of confusion. 

I made a coffee for myself and everyone else, hoping to get on the good side of Nick by making him his fave one with cinnamon and cream. 

Someone was coming here and my heart kind of skipped a beat when I saw him again, but then it was a little bit stabbed as I saw his arm around Stacey's shoulder and her arm in his back pocket. 

Jane, pull yourself together, you're being ridiculous. 

"Morning!" I said, smiling the most genuine smile at the cosy couple and handed them their coffees.

Stace quickly finished her coffee with some biscuits, excusing herself for a bathroom. It meant me and Nick alone in this kitchen. I could only hope he wouldn't kill me while Stace was gone.

"So, how are you?" I looked at him as he looked at me with his piercing light blue eyes.

"Well," He slowly made his way towards me, walking around the bar of the kitchen, which was sadly the only thing between us, "you made my favorite coffee"

I nodded with a smile: "Enjoy it!"

The next thing I saw was the coffee being spilled in the sink and him making his was back to me once again.

"You might of been my fave and that coffee aswell, but the thing is," he took another step toward me, pinning me to the bar of kitchen, "I don't drink coffee anymore, Jane" 

He turned around once again leaving me hurt and he knew he hurt me, he knew I was trying and all of a sudden it made me so angry to think of the fact he thought he could hurt, that he was allowed to. 

I love him, I wanted to say it so badly, but I knew it would be way too cruel to him, knowing I was the one that left him and broke him.

"Is that so?" he obviously hadn't expected me to reply, so he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face me, "I'm glad, it was never good for you anyways." 

If looks could kill, we would both be dead by now. 

I never actually thought that word "coffee" could describe so many things and hurt in the most shitty ways.

"I'm heading upstairs, gotta check up on Jack!" 

Yeah, I was the one that chickened out. What can I say? I can only hold so much before his gaze actually brakes me.

I was the one that left him, I was the one that broke him, I know. But still, he had no idea what I had gone through and why I had done this.

Since I had left him I did loose a part of me in the process, but now, when I felt like I was a whole again I was so not letting him put me back to the sulking part of me.

I had paid the price of leaving him and that was the end of it.