He was my Smoke,

Chapter twelve - I believe in you -

Twelve:

I walked down the hall at school feeling like I was practically walking on clouds. That feeling scared me since I haven’t felt it ever since I stopped using drugs.

Blake was waiting for me along with Natalie and Hare at their usual spot and as soon as they appeared a couple of feet away, I smiled genuinely and waved at then but got suddenly interjected with a girl who used to be a friend of mine when I was the head cheerleader. Of course after I’ve dropped out of school for rehab and all, I haven’t talked to anyone of those girls, so I was a little surprised to see her before me smiling like she won the jackpot.

“Roya!” she exclaimed excitedly before throwing me two kisses in the air, I chuckled and pretended to catch them before saying,” what’s up Bianca”

She smiled again before starting to fiddle with her fingers,” Um, I was meaning to talk to you about something important, can we do that now? I’m sure your dad won’t mind if we take the first period off”

I raised my eyebrow and folded my arms before supporting my whole body weight on my left leg.

“What’s the deal Bianca?”

She bit her lip as her eyes looked at anyplace but me, so I started huffing which broke her because she started talking all of a sudden,” We need you back as our head cheerleader!”

My mouth opened, as I instinctively looked at Blake through the crowds, his eyes were on mine as well and then he raised his eyebrow at my expression.

Much to my satisfaction he started needling himself through the crowd to reach me, I looked back at Bianca and attempted to speak but thankfully Blake reached us saying,” Come on Roya, we’re late!”

I looked at him then looked at Bianca feeling lost. That question might seem normal, simple and maybe even exciting to some. However for me, this was the worst timing. Being in control of something, being the leader of something and bossing people around was and will always be my guilty pleasure, and I feared –oh lord I feared- getting into that tornado of wanting to be in control.

“I’m sorry Bianca, but I won’t be doing this.” I said knowing my voice was rusty and rough that I had to clear my throat. Blake’s eyes though widened and he stopped me from walking away and then asked,” wait wait, you’re not doing what?”

I scowled at him because he was acting immature by stopping me from escaping Bianca’s presence. “I wanted her to come back as our head cheerleader, we’ve been asked to join the championship and we’ve never won with Pauline, we need Roya’s experience to win.” Bianca spoke eying Blake pleadingly, he nodded as he listened to her attentively and then he turned to face me before asking me with his eyes why the hell I didn’t want to do it.

I was actually shocked to realize we were so close that I understood his eye language, which might be the reason why I shook my head fixatedly ignoring Bianca’s confused look as she watched us communicate silently.

“Just give her time to think, will you?” Blake asked as he patted my shoulder as if I was some kid in first grade which pissed me off even more than I already was, so I brushed his hand away with an angry growl and left him by walking away and not bothering to look back.

First period must have approached its end, and I was sitting under a tree a couple of streets away from school staring at the trees opposite from me.

How could they do that? How could someone let you go when you’re of no importance to them and when they do need you they pretend like you’re the most important girl they know? Somehow I’m starting to discover that everyone I know actually wants something from me.