Incognito

Becoming A Psychopath

blue moon // beck

Oh don't leave me on my own

Left me standing all alone

Cut me down to size so I can fit inside

Lies you try to hide behind your eyes

~

The next morning, Ryder's belongings are wiped away from the guest room. He kept his word. I swallow the slight disappointment from inside as I skip down the stairs and head for the kitchen. Without him at the table, there isn't noise. Both Mom and Dad had already left for work, which is weird since usually one of them stays a little longer to say goodbye to me, but not today. This definitely accentuates the feeling of loneliness without Ryder here. I frown to myself, what am I thinking? I am the one who threw him out. I pushed him away.

My dog, Bear, waddles into the room. With his growing old age, he's become extremely obese so it takes him forever to greet me. There, at least he is here to see me. Once I get my daily dosage of my favorite dog, I think of when Bear was on Ryder's lap before dinner last night. Bear might be old and even if he hasn't seen Ryder in so long, he still recognizes him. Actually, he looks a little sad that he's gone too. Oh, what have I done?

I grab my keys, and shut the front door in a hurry. See, if I go to school, Ryder would be a thousand steps ahead. He doesn't know it, but I'm going to track him down and if I can't find him, I'll at least find his belongings.

I get in my car, quickly greeted by a whiff of smell of spearmint and smile, I think DI would be proud of me for this. I'm going after what I want and what I want is to have my friend back. He might be a little disappointed for me skipping school or whatever, but that's just a little detail.

While on the road, I begin to think where he could be. His house is certainly empty, since the whole reason of crashing at our place was so they could bomb his house. When we were younger, we would go to the park, the shopping center and Alex's and Julie's houses. But what about just him? Where would he go when we weren't together? I turn to go past the park.

Think about the last time you were together before he left.

The top of building two of our school.

It's funny, now that I think of it. Ryder, my once thought soulmate, left me at this place and DI, my new person of interest, officially met me here. So, the feeling could be described as bittersweet, I guess.

After pulling in, and making my way to the second floor of the second building, I've been stopped by a teacher in the hall and waved at Tony who was passing by. I'm already a few minutes late to class, so I don't feel bad about skipping World History. I open the door to the roof of the building quietly, and peek around. Though, it is difficult because of the garden blocking half of the view.

I take a step out and then a few more to find no one here. I guess I was following a lost cause. I mean, why in the world would Ryder put his baggage on a rooftop. God, either I'm crazy or stupid. No, I'm crazily stupid for doing this.

However, I take a moment to recall those events three years ago. The morning sun is barely warming us from the winter cold surrounding me. I close my eyes to think. "One day you'll see the world the way I see it and you'll never want to go back." He told me. "You might not want the air that I breathe now, but you're going to wish you did. You'll miss me." I fought back. I remember instantly regretting pushing him to do this. But everything I did was to make him happy. I guess that's what you do when you're in love. You want what's best for them.

"Are you supposed to be up here, or should I be concerned?" A deep voice says from behind me, interrupting my thoughts. I open my eyes, realizing that I'm standing on the ledge of the building.