Incognito

Stitching Back Friendship

goddess // banks

You never got this

You put her down, you liked her hopeless

To walk around, feeling unnoticed

You should have crowned her, 'cause she's a goddess

You never got this

~

"Whatcha up to?" Ryder asks, popping his head into the room. I quickly shut off the internet browser, not wanting anyone to know about my search history. It wasn't pornography, no, but just a harmless google of a simple man really. The CEO of Hesper Labs to be exact. If I was going to win the battle over getting Ryder and DI to get along, I would need some serious backup. The evidence couldn't just be any proof, it had to be one hundred percent undeniable.

"Nothing." I dismiss, spinning the chair around to face him. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

"Yeah, actually." He takes a seat on my bed, patting it flat at the creases again. "Why are you up? It's like six in the morning."

"I went for a jog." I explain, motioning him to look at my apparel. A white tee and leggings, my ears still tangled around my body. I take a sip of water that I brought from the kitchen. "Why are you up?"

"I have hypersensitive hearing, I could legit hear you stirring at this ungodly hour." He explains, accentuating and stressing the ungodly part. "And I've been wondering, you're really determined to be trained. Why didn't you ask me?"

Sensing his hurt and vulnerability, I cut my answer short. Though, I didn't add any sympathy to it, because he already used it up in the first round of our friendship. "Because you already tried and then aborted ship when you felt like it. Besides, DI volunteered before I could assess my options." I take another slurp, but this time it isn't because I'm thirsty, more like using it as a buffer. "I didn't think you'd care about it anyway."

"Of course I do." He assures me, slight disappointment drooping his features. Then saying as he ruffles his hair, "I will always care for any topic concerning you."

"Saying that is easy, Ryder, and I enjoyed our time together on Saturday, but this - this thing between us - I just don't think it's going to work. But don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that you're willing to change your mind about DI for my sake, but I'm not the same girl as you knew three years ago. Things have changed and I can't be your shadow anymore." I stand up from my chair and release my hair from it's ponytail. You could say I've made our conversation take a quick turn for bad, but to me, I'm leaving it refreshed. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to take a shower. Plan on leaving in an hour."

Just like that, I dismiss him, leaving him speechless. As soon as he closes the door behind him, I can exhale. It may just be the small adrenaline flowing from almost knowing who DI is and also getting caught, but everything I said is true. Three years ago, I lived to be in his shadow. I wanted to, mostly due to the magnetic pull I had towards him. But now that he's here again, the magnetic pull is no longer here. It's like it has been cut off by a knife or as if I forgot to pay the monthly subscription.

"That could have gone worse." I reassure myself, the words under my breath. At this time, I step into my shower and utilize this time to think about other ways to find out who DI is if I can't win a battle with him. Maybe I can take a DNA test. Well, I probably shouldn't. It's a little extreme. But isn't being a vigilante in the middle of a soft spoken town a little extreme?

Once we are at school, I meet up with Hayden and her brother. Tony leans back on his Toyota with a vape dangling between his fingers. He puffs before greeting me.