HIRAETH

One

New York has been the most nerve wracking place I have ever experienced.

It is extremely different from the quiet town I grew up in.

The tall buildings and gray aesthetic is far more disorienting than a sea of endless wilderness. Many people wouldn't understand how that is possible, but it is.

It also doesn't help that I have no sense of direction.

Luckily, though, I do have a smart phone.

It makes finding the apartment building much easier.

When I met Sebastian Stan, I was on a trip with my closest friend Tara. She has a few high end connections thanks to her work as a stunt double in Hollywood. She brought me to New York a few months ago because she knew my mental health was slipping.

Don't get me wrong, my mental health has never been the best. However, I had completely stopped eating, talking, and leaving the house. My mom had resorted to bringing me protein shakes to ensure that I didn't starve completely.

Anyway.

When I met Sebastian, I was sitting alone at a table during an after party for some award show. He casually walked to the table and introduced himself. We talked for a while and he noticed the picture of my nieces and nephew on my lockscreen which led to us talking about his daughter and his need for a nanny.

By the end of the night he had kindly offered a place for me to stay until I was on my feet in New York while I kept his daughter, Aurelia.

Aurelia is three years old. If the pictures Sebastian showed me do her any justice, she is one of the cutest little girls I have ever seen.

While we were talking at the party he mentioned that she can be a bit of a handful at times.

I then told him that my two nieces were the same way. He gave me a strange look and I thought " how bad can she be? She's three."

Over the past few months, as I prepared to move, Sebastian had been checking in on me over the phone. He had become a friend and I appreciated him checking on me. During this time he had filled me in on the details surrounding his recent separation from Aurelia's mom, Alexia Onin.

I had read enough things on Twitter to know that Alexia is definitely hard to deal with and Sebastian only confirmed it.

He had never flat out said anything bad about her, he only gave me facts. Alexia apparently now has the idea to take Aurelia from Sebastian and cut off all of his rights to his own daughter. When he told me this, I felt my blood boil. She was torturing Sebastian purely out of spite and bitterness.

I was hoping the judge would see that taking Aurelia from her father would be a huge mistake. A court date is set just a few weeks away in the middle of November, which is also in the middle of Sebastian filming a new movie. Luckily, the movie is being filmed here in New York so it will be much easier on Sebastian.

I had found myself very invested in his little girl. I had yet to meet her but I was beyond excited.

I missed my own nieces and nephew already.

I had babysat them for my sister until they were all old enough to be in school. My whole family was fiercely protective of those babies. They were brought to us through the foster care system. My sister, being unable to have her own children, had decided to foster children in need. When my nieces and nephews were placed with my sister and her husband, we knew they would forever be a part of our family. We fought for them for a year until a judge finally declared their birth parents unfit to raise them. My sister adopted all three kids as soon as she could and we all embraced the kids with open arms.

I had never been away from them like this.

Not knowing when I would see them hurt me.

That pain is what made me pull myself from my own mind long enough to realize my phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Madelaine? How are you?" Sebastian's kind voice sounds through my car.

"I'm good! I actually just got into New York." I say as I look up at the night sky while sitting at a red light.

"Really? You're already here?" Sebastian says almost excitedly.

"Yes. I told you I'm a fast driver." I laugh a little.

"Right." He replies laughing a little to himself.

I hear a giggle in the background and my heart races.

"Is that Aurelia?" I ask.

"Yeah. Aurelia say hello." Sebastian says and I hear shuffling as he moves the phone to Aurelia.

"Hello?" a sweet voice says.

"Hi, Aurelia!" I say in a sweet voice. "I am so excited to finally meet you!"

She doesn't respond, but she giggles before Sebastian's voice comes through the speaker once again.

"How far away from the apartment building are you?" He asks.

"Are you there? You don't have to wait for me." I say confused.

"Of course we are here. We live here," he laughs.

Wait. What?

"Oh. Right. I didn't realize I would actually be living in the apartment with you two." Isay as nervousness begins to settle in my stomach.

"Well, sort of." He says. "You are just across the hallway from us. So basically we live together, but also separate."

"Oh. Okay. That makes sense." I say and rub one of my eyes. It's been a very long drive. "I should be there in the next five to ten minutes." I say after checking the GPS on my phone.

"Okay. We will be waiting for you. Be safe." He says before hanging up.

I finish driving through the confusing streets and finally find a place to park so that I can carry my bags into the building.

When I get out of the car, I look up. The building looks to be around 15 floors tall and is a nice beige color. When compared to the other dull gray buildings around it, it looks quite nice.

Before I do anything else, I text my mom and let her know that I made it here safely.

I put my phone in my back pocket and grab my wallet.

Walking through the front door of my new home feels so strange.

"Hi. I'm here to check in, I guess." I say laughing as I'm not really sure how this works.

"Okay," the middle aged woman smiles at me and my nerves begin to relax. "Do you know the apartment number?" She asks.

I pull up the text messages I had from Sebastian about the apartment.

"Yes, it is apartment C37." I tell her and her eyes go back to her computer.

"Okay. It looks like everything has been taken care of by Mr. Stan. I will call and let him know you are here." She says smiling.

I return her smile and thank her for her help as I head back out to my car with a luggage cart.

I'm completely lost in arranging my bags onto the cart so I don't notice the two people walking up to me.

"You know there are people here that can do that for you." Sebastian says.

I jump a little at the sound of his voice.

"Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that." I laugh while resting my hand on my chest.

Sebastian laughs and I notice the little girl beside him. Her head is almost level with his hips. Her hair is the same dark brown as her father's and as I crouch down the her level, I realize her eyes are the same steel blue as her father's.

She truly is a beautiful little girl.

"You must be Aurelia." I say smiling as I extend my hand to her. "I'm Madelaine. I'm going to be your new nanny. If you'll let me."

She gives me a small smile before looking back to Sebastian.

"Do I have to be nice to her daddy?"