HIRAETH

Twenty Three

I lay in bed the next morning, still upset. I didn't sleep at all and I'm absolutely exhausted. My eyes are burning from crying all night and I have a raging head ache. I know I need to get up soon to go take care of Aurelia, but I can't force myself to move. I don't want to speak to him. I don't want to see him. I'm still furious with how he treated Aurelia and I last night.

My phone rings on the table and I think about just letting it ring. It's probably him anyway.

Something in my mind forces me to move my arm and I see that it's Tara calling.

"Hello?" My voice comes out scratchy.

"Holy shit are you sick?" Tara asks and I roll my eyes.

"No." I say, my voice cracking.

"Oh my God, you're crying. What's going on? Who do I need to kill?" I hear her grabbing her keys on the other side of the phone. "I'm on my way. It's Sebastian isn't it? What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"What? No. You don't have to come here." I sigh and flop back down on my pillow.

"Shut up. I'll be there in 15 minutes." She hangs up and I throw my phone to the end of my bed in frustration. The last thing I need is Tara coming here and making a scene. My phone vibrates again and I kick it off my bed. I don't want to talk to anyone.

I close my eyes and try to drift off but I hear a knock at the door.

Tara? Already?

My blanket falls on the floor as I move out of the bed. The cold air leaves chill bumps all over my body. I'm wearing one of Sebastian's sweatshirts, I thought smelling him would make it easier to sleep without him. I was wrong.

I unlock the door and swing it open.

"Tara I-" I stop talking when I see him.

He tries to say something but I shut the door. Fuck.

"Madelaine, please open the door." His voice sounds raspy and dry like mine. I sink to the floor beside the door and listen to him plead with me to open the door.

"Madelaine, I shouldn't have said those things, please. Open the door." His voice cracks and for some reason it makes me angrier. I stand up and quickly swing the door open.

We stand there taking each other in for a moment. He is in the sweatpants that match the sweatshirt I have on. His eyes are bloodshot with bags under them from not sleeping. His hair looks like it's been put through a windstorm.

His eyes roam my face and he tries to reach out and touch me but I jerk away.

"Madelaine, come on." He sighs.

"No." I say, the tears beginning to well in my eyes again. This time they aren't from just being upset. I'm pissed. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to act like you have done nothing wrong."

"I know I'm wro-."

"Shut the hell up, Sebastian. I know you're going through some shit with Alexia. I get it. But what you said last night and how you've been acting the last week isn't just going to be fixed because you come over here and say you're sorry." The tears spill over as my voice rises.

"Madelaine I-"

"You need to stop. You are going to ruin everything good in your life if you keep letting her win like this. She still has this much control over you and it drives me insane. You couldn't even say hello to me on the phone yesterday. Then, instead of just telling me you loved me, you hung up. That is what I have been dealing with this week. I want to sleep with you, I want to eat with you, I want to just live with you. But I can't because you are still stuck living with her control over you."