HIRAETH

Twenty Eight

Sebastian was a ball of nerves as we drove back to our apartments. We had been out Christmas shopping for Aurelia and he was stressing over our upcoming trip to see his mom.

"Would you calm down? You're making me nervous." I say looking over at him.

He stopped tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel and glanced over at me.

"Sorry. I just want this to be a good Christmas for Aurelia. The past few have been...tough." He sighs.

"Sebastian, it's going to be fine." I smile.

Things had been pretty good between us the last few weeks. I had felt more and more like myself as the days passed. I was still having nightmares. I felt lucky, though. I'm able to get at least some sleep. Some people who go through the same thing that I did, don't make it out so easy.

I shiver at the thought of what almost happened. I push it from my mind and focus on the sound of Sebastian quietly humming along to the song playing through the speakers of the car.

Aurelia had spent the night with Carlie so that Sebastian and I could get her Christmas presents picked out and wrapped without having to rush so she doesn't see them.

Our plan was to wake up on Christmas morning early enough for Aurelia to open her presents and then drive to see Sebastian's mom. He had told me she also lives in New York state so we could make the trip easily after opening presents.

I was relieved that we wouldn't be spending days in her home. As excited as I was to meet her, sometimes I wake up because the nightmares are making me talk in my sleep. I had left my audio recorder on my phone on one night until I woke up from my nightmare. I listened to the recording once before deleting it from my phone.

It was hard for me to hear what I was saying. A lot of what happened that night was blocked out by my brain. I remember dancing and my ass being grabbed. Everything after that is a blur until I saw Sebastian punching the guy on the ground. I don't even remember what happens in my nightmares. Sebastian told me that he got to me before the guy got far enough to hurt me.

I think about the sight of Sebastian pummeling that guy  pretty often. It terrifies me while also turning me on as much as I hate to say it. It terrifies me because had Sebastian not of gotten to me in time, the situation would have been so much worse. It turns me on because, well, everything Sebastian does turns me on.

I look over at the way he grips the steering wheel with one hand while the other rests on his leg. I want that hand on me.

WOAH. WOAH. WOAH.

Slow down there Madelaine. You are both recovering from serious life changing events. Stop thinking like that.

Right.

Sebastian pulls into a parking spot next to our building and we begin carrying the presents upstairs. Sebastian wanted to let the store employees wrap the presents, but I didn't let him do that to those people. They have enough going on without having to wrap these presents.

Plus, I thought it would be funny to get him all riled up over wrapping paper.

And boy did he.

"Fucking hell! How do people do this shit?" Sebastian yelled dramatically as he tried to wrap a simple box.

"Sebastian, chill." I laugh as I walk over to him. " Like this."

I fold the paper around the box and tape it before adding a label that says "To Aurelia, From Santa."

"Show off." Sebastian grumbles.

"Fine. Do them all yourself." I say as I walk away from the table.