Semper Fidelis

Chapter 3.5

"Oh, Hermione. It's great to finally see you after all these years." Garrick said, removing himself from the hug and looking at the woman with gentle eyes.

Hermione nodded, tears starting to sting the corner of her eyes. "I'm sorry for not writing more, but... but I couldn't... it was so hard..." She stammered, not knowing how to explain herself.

Ollivander nodded in understanding. "I know, dear girl. You need not explain yourself. I'm just glad to see that you're alive and well. I didn't know if I would ever see you again after that night," he said softly.

"Garrick... I deluded myself into thinking he can grow up Muggle. But now... now that he's discovered magic and had got himself a wand and he'll be going to Hogwarts in September... I'm afraid he'll hate me when he figures out what I've been keeping from him all these years." Hermione whispered, tears finally spilling.

Ollivander shook his head. He raised a hand and wiped away the tears that fell. "Never, Hermione. He will never hate you. A blind man can see how much that boy loves you and you him. I may not know the whole reason why you left, but I know it was because of your love for him."

Hermione considered his words carefully. She had never breathed a word of the why to anyone before. It was quite simple, really. James was conceived out of wedlock, on a night when two friends were feeling so lonely that they seeked solace in one another. It was supposed to be a no-strings-attached agreement; and it was, but not for Hermione.

For years she loved Harry Potter in silence. She watched him pine for other girls at school and risk his life with different dangers every year. Part of the reason she was so bookish at Hogwarts was because she wanted to help Harry the only way she knew how: through her knowledge and smarts. Harry was devastated when Ron left them in the Forest of Dean during their hunt for Horcruxes. The weight of the whole world were on his shoulders and one night, when the sky seemed to be crying and the winds howling around their tent, Harry Potter finally broke down. All of his insecurities and worries came out in tears. Words of self-doubt left his lips and Hermione did the one thing her muddled brain told her to do to make him stop: she kissed him. She poured every ounce of her feelings into that kiss. It was a kiss of reassurance, strength, friendship, and love. "We need this, Harry," she had whispered, "You need this." He was stunned at first, and when he started to question her, she shushed him again with a kiss until he started to return her actions.

As the kisses turned more fierce, her brain told her to stop but her heart could not bring herself to move away from Harry. His mouth and his hands weren't pushing her away either; in fact, they were only drawing her closer. Their bright eyes met in the darkness and through the windows of each other's soul, they could see warmth and assent. And so, Harry and Hermione lost themselves in one another.

She remembered waking up feeling so happy the morning after. Harry's arm was wrapped tightly around her with his chest to her bare back. She turned around and was met with his warm, green eyes and a grin beaming down at her.

Before anything could be said, however, they were interrupted by a moving light outside of their tent. Hurriedly putting on clothes and grabbing their wands, they emerged from the tent to find the doe patronus which led them to the Sword of Gryffindor. They were eventually reunited with Ron and the conversation about that night never took place - they were simply too busy trying to stay alive.

Exactly a week before The Defeat, Hermione had found herself crouching over a toilet, retching. She sat confused on the tiled floor, going over the meals she had had that day. Her eyes drifted to her watch which showed the date and her chocolate brown eyes widened in horror. When they had left to hunt for Horcruxes, Hermione had cast a charm on herself to keep her sterile so she wouldn't be experiencing her monthly periods. This charm, though, needed to be recast every night. She realized with dismay that she missed casting this charm when she was with Harry that night.

With shaky fingers, Hermione remembered grabbing her wand and casting "Infans Revelo". Her wand tip glowed a bright light and she broke down in sobs. 'Infans Revelo will reveal if the caster is with child if the wand glows bright upon casting,' Hermione remembered reading from her Charms textbook. There was no denying it, Hermione Granger was with Harry Potter's child.

Hermione honestly wanted to tell Harry of her, or rather, their predicament but Lord Voldemort did not give her the chance. On that fateful day at the start of May, Death Eaters along with giants, dementors, and acromantulas stormed Hogwarts. Hermione and her friends spent countless hours fighting until she saw the Priori Incantatem break and the killing curse bounce back to Voldemort killing him. She yelled and rushed to Harry's side from across the Great Hall and enveloped him in a hug. Soon, she felt Ron's arms around them and breathed a sigh of relief that he, too, was safe. Finally, after years of fighting, it was all over.

Hermione told herself she would tell Harry of their baby the day after The Defeat. But then she found him at the ruined Quidditch pitch with his lips locked with Ginny Weasley and their arms wrapped tight around one other.

Again, Hermione's heart shattered to an irreparable state. Harry was happy, and it wasn't with her. She knew telling him of their baby would cause turmoil in his relationship with Ginny. What more is that almost everyone of their friends expected Harry to be with Ginny. How would they, and the rest of the wizarding world, feel when it's found out that Harry Potter had a baby with his best friend Hermione Granger?

Hermione decided then and there she had to leave. No one can know of the child she's carrying. Harry deserved a life of happiness with the woman he loves, and she'll be damned if she gets in the way of his happiness. What more is that her baby, whom she had grown to love so much in the little time she knew of its existence, deserved a normal life away from the prying eyes and whispered conspiracies. Her baby does not deserve to be viewed as Harry Potter's bastard child. For the two people she loved most in the world, Hermione chose to leave.

"Hermione... are you alright?" She heard Garrick whisper. Hermione's eyes refocused and settled on Ollivanders'.

"Thank you, Garrick, for everything you have done for me." She said in a whisper. "Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you the whole reason why I left."

Ollivander smiled and drew the girl into a hug once more. "There's no need for that, Hermione. I am in full confidence that you did what you thought was necessary and right. I don't know what will happen now, but I do know you will handle whatever comes yours and James' way with the grace and strength you possess. You brought that child up well, my dear girl. He's as strong as his mum. You just need to believe in him."