Semper Fidelis

Chapter 5.3

Harry looked at his godfather with understanding eyes. "If you want to retire, then I support you Sirius. Go and see the world, but make sure you send me a lot of owls." Harry said with a grin.

Sirius smiled and nodded at Harry. "Thank you, my boy. You can count on that."

The wall clock chimed twelve which made the three men look to its direction. Harry flicked his wand causing the curtains to fold and letting the sun illuminate his lounge with bright, summer light. Looking to the clock again, Harry noted the date and looked at Sirius and Dumbledore with questioning eyes.

"So who will be taking up the position as the new Defense professor then? Isn't the school year starting up in about a week?" He asked.

It didn't go unnoticed to Harry that Sirius and Dumbledore shared a somewhat hesitant look before fixing both of their gazes on him. Dumbledore finally decided that it was his turn to speak.

Dumbledore rose from the sofa and stood by the window to look out onto the busy streets of central London. Harry had picked a good place to live. The flat was close to Diagon Alley and to the Ministry yet it was very much still in Muggle London so he could be afforded his privacy. 'Living here in the middle of the city, yet still so secluded,' Dumbledore thought.

He met Harry's inquisitive gaze. "Harry, that is why I am here today. I am here to offer you the position of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."

Harry's green eyes widened. "Me? You can't be serious. I can't possibly be the new Defense professor!" He exclaimed.

Sirius shook his head and sat down on the sofa. "And why not? You are the most qualified person I know for this, Harry, even more qualified than me! With your... history against the dark arts, and your current position as an Auror, not to mention the DA which you spearheaded during school, there is no one else more qualified."

Harry's brow furrowed and he shook his head vigorously. "That's exactly why I can't. I already have a job."

Dumbledore sighed and looked at Harry. He's no longer the little boy he once knew. From the innocent little bundle he left at the Dursley doorstep, Harry had now grown into a strong, powerful wizard and an even stronger man. His past shaped him to be this capable individual with a sharp mind and a tough spirit. Yet, Dumbledore could see something amiss in those deep, emerald depths of Harry's eyes.

"You need a break from that job of yours, Harry! It's seeping the life out of you - going away in missions for weeks on end. I know you're doing good in the world, Harry, but it's not doing you any good." Sirius pleaded.

Dumbledore nodded in assent. "We are not asking you to give up your Auror duties forever, Mr. Potter. Consider this as a temporary filling of the Defense position for the year until I find someone who can stay on for longer," he said. "I've already owled Mr. Winchester with my proposition and he is of the opinion that you need a break. He said that you can remain as the Gryphons' commander but no field work unless it's absolutely necessary." Dumbledore handed Harry a piece of parchment with his boss' signature.

Harry took the letter and quickly scanned its contents. He read Winchester's assent saying that this was a wonderful area since a holiday would just bore Harry out of his mind and at least he'll be doing something useful and active but still taking a break from his grueling Auror duties with this arrangement. Winchester also echoed Dumbledore's statement that he is to remain as commander of the Gryphons but all field work will be handed over to his subordinates. Winchester ended the note by saying that while the choice is still Harry's to make, he is very much supportive of the idea since "a well-rested mind and soul make an even better Auror."

Harry's mind whirled. He felt a bit blindsided by the three men he grew to respect the most in the world but while he hated to admit it, he knew that they were right. What he's doing to himself isn't healthy. He was working himself to death by his own volition. Winchester was actually one of the few Ministry department heads who encouraged a good work-life balance, seeing that he himself has a family to look after. Harry was the same with his team - he never demanded more from the Gryphons than what they were willing to give and he's proud to say that they are one of the best, if not the best, Auror team in the Ministry simply because all of them loved what they were doing and who they are with. The Gryphons had built a reputation of being like a family. There were still ranks, of course, and segregation of duties, but the trust between his team members is palpable. They've all got each other's backs and Harry is willing to die for any one of them. Maybe that's why he worked himself to death, he realizes. It's quite unusual for a team commander to go on as many field duties as Harry. But Harry realized early on as their leader that many of his commands have families. They have boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, and kids. They have someone waiting at home for them. Harry didn't. He had Ron and the Weasleys, of course, and Sirius and the many friends he made throughout the years. But Harry didn't have a family to call his own. So he chose to go on all of those field missions so his team could spend time with theirs.

But the thought of going back to Hogwarts made Harry weak. He hadn't stepped foot in the castle grounds for years. It was too haunting and too sad. He had a feeling all of the memories he'd kept locked away will resurface if he goes back.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't... I can't go back to Hogwarts," he said and expelled a ragged breath. "I'll always be reminded of her," he added softly.

"Harry..." Sirius began. He sighed and looked at Dumbledore for help. There's no easy way to breach this topic. "Harry, you need to move on. Hermione has been gone for eleven years. We haven't seen nor heard anything about her for so long. She... she might be..."

"SHE IS NOT DEAD." Harry bellowed, cutting Sirius off. His eyes narrowed into a glare at his godfather, the corners filling with unshed tears. "Don't you dare say she's dead, Sirius. She's not. I just... I just know." He ended in a broken whisper.

Dumbledore nodded sadly. He walked over to where Harry was sat and put a hand on the young man's shoulder. "Then that means she doesn't want to be found, Harry. You need to let her go. Ms. Granger wouldn't want you to be like this."

The tears finally fell. Harry Potter, The Man Who Saved turned Auror extraordinaire, broke down in front of his godfather and headmaster. He buried his face onto the palm of his hands and cried. For years he tried to get over his failure of not finding her, throwing himself into his work instead. He hid the pain, sadness, and anger he felt about her disappearance from those around him, choosing to grieve in silence instead. Yes, he knows it's been eleven years; but the scar her disappearance had caused hadn't healed. The light in his life dimmed when she left and he doesn't think it would ever be as bright again.

Harry felt the secure arms of his godfather around him.

"Harry, my boy, you need to start living again," Sirius whispered. "It's time to come home."