I never understood how people can leave without looking back, or saying goodbye.
It was always like that, with a lot of people around me. Even with her before, too. Whenever we want to part ways or anything like that, it would be so easy for her.
They'd just walk away, you know? And I will always be intrigued. I would wait until their figures fully disappear from my sight, and then I'll start moving.
I can never do that.
In my mind, I would always have this feeling.
'What if this is the last time I'll see them? Do I want to leave them without looking back? It can't hurt to just turn back and wave for a few seconds and smile.'
And I will always do it, regardless of how acquainted I am with that particular person I am parting from. Even if they're just a stranger, I always find myself looking back and subconsciously trying to engrave that exact separation in my mind; for it will be there forever.
I don't know whether if I am doing it for me or for them. Maybe I can tell all of you that I did it because I want them to feel appreciated, but I personally think it's more for me to not feel regret if I didn't turn back and wave, you get me?
But that's the thing. I don't think it matters that much to anyone. We'll meet again someday.
But to me it does.
For once, I just want someone to wave back to me when they're going away. I know that separation is inevitable; but I would love to feel like I am worth turning back to. Somehow.
I don't think I make much sense in this entry, but I just wanna write it out. It's been bothering me for years now, if not decades.
Bear with me.
