It's been a year, huh?
I still remember the adventures like it was yesterday. I know better now, more than ever, that it was for the best that we went our separate ways. It's not like I never said it to you.
I think I said it more than one occasion.
We were so different, yet you stuck by me and tried to figure out my bullshits.
I spent almost a year trying to deny that whatever we had, it was nothing. That you were just confused. That I was just too obsessed and was never in love. Truth is, love has many names, and forever is just not always one of them. Love can be a lot of things, it can be joy, it can be sadness, it can be feeding stray cats, alone, or with the one you loved.
I wrote this story about the people who once were significant to me, and who I held very dearly close to my fragile heart. I know now, more than ever, that it was impertinent of me to deny my own experiences, my own love. I might never know the whole truth, I might never know whether if you loved me or not, whether if you stayed because you were sympathizing towards me, whether if I was manipulating you, and if I did, I am truly sorry for that.
But I loved you. And in my current situation, it is not suitable for me to say such things, or to invoke such memories back into my mind palace. But this sadness, is ultimately mine, and mine alone. Nothing or nobody else can ever comprehend what I truly feel, deep inside my heart.
And how it has shaped me to be who I am today.
I hold no ill intent towards anyone, or anything that has ever happened. The regrets and the memories, fragmented realities, will always haunt me, but it will always be mine, forever.
If nobody else will sing the song of this legendary saga I lived through, that's okay, I'll hum the melodies until the end of my time.
On the bright side, though, I just want to say that I found someone I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. She's amazing, she's everything I have ever wanted in my life. I am grateful for her, and I think it's time I end the first act of this saga.
Cheers. I can't promise I won't fall into that destructive void or the depressive rants again, but I'll try.
Love y'all.
