A new milestone.
I finally stopped chasing love, I mean, in a romantic way, I am not in any relationship by choice, simply because I want to indulge in my loneliness, solitude and actualizing my avoidant self for once.
It has been great, honestly. Never thought I'd enjoy being untethered to another soul before. Romantically committed, I mean.
I have been dumping my affection towards the Sun recently, and we kind of lost touch after a while of not meeting each other, well, I have limitations and I don't intend to spend the rest of my life chasing a glimpse of warmth that was never made for me.
But it was fun while it lasted, though. Not that I am putting any brakes on anything, what goes on will go on.
I have lost a lot, learned a lot and gained a lot for the past months. I have not been writing in this...open journal. Was supposed to stop writing here but the journey of healing does not stop until I die, perhaps.
The Moon has been shining brightly for months and even at nights where the stars are not visible, her light engulfed me and protected me from the darkness that are my thoughts and my destructive aftermaths of past mistakes.
Reconciliation with a kindling of flame I used to love was unsuccessful; her fire burned brightly and consumed everything else in the barren sands, although it was pretty impossible to burn anything at all in the wild desert filled with nothing except the sands of time and the remains of broken hearts.
I should've seen it coming a long time ago, when the hourglass broke and the stars stopped aligning, but I was counting on the labyrinth of fate to bring two souls apart, closer in a platonic endeavor. But it led us through the maze of thorns, and the history repeats itself like an old film running through its vintage projector.
It was a tragedy, really. But not a tragedy worth mourning over.
The thoughts of a certain Greek goddess crossed my mind like trains passing by the stations; as per usual the sounds of the rusty tracks would eventually cripple me, but not in a harsh way like it used to. It does not paralyze, nor it would ruin my days and nights; ripping the fabric of reality and tearing down my safe haven of dreams, turning each and every one of them into endless nightmares for consistent periods of time.
"The mortal man does not dream of setting foot in Olympus, nor does he swim in the river Styx any more than his desires would allow him to; he simply lives within the reigns of Hermes while waiting for Hades to collect his unrelenting favor."
Everything is great so far. I just thought a cryptic entry sometimes would be fun to read. Until we read, and write again next time.
