10th August, 2020

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I...think this has always been the path I am supposed to walk anyway.

Alone.

I broke up with her tonight. For the 10000th time. And this time, I think it's gonna be different.

Because this time, I am gonna hold on to my words and not fuck it up like I always did.

It was stupid, the reason behind this break-up. But it was never the reason anyway. It stemmed from a lot of issues over the past years, and I just don't think the scars are gonna heal. Ever.

People will say that I'm bringing up past issues to justify and victimize myself with, but I just don't think it's ever the case. Have you ever been betrayed before? It just never goes away, you know?

At least to me. Because I have been on both sides of the coin, and it's just not a one-time thing. Betrayal happens like a chain, once you think it's done, another knife comes back to stab you in the back.

But let me tell you something.

It's not the real knives that hurt. It's the imaginary ones that hurt the most. The pain lingers and hovers over you like it's gonna happen again.

Well, it's an hour later and we're together again. Heh.


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