A Whole New World...Or Possibly Life

That's A Promise

There was nobody for me to talk to about this, except for Chris.  The two people I would probably talk to knew about Scarlett already, or at least had an inkling about it,  but it wasn't Scott or Sebastian's business to tell me and I wasn't mad at them, no matter how much I tried to be.  This wasn't their fault. 

Chris hadn't cheated on me or done anything of the kind, just withheld the information from me.  For some reason I couldn't let it slide though, or the reason just being that he had been jealous more than once and it was unwarranted.  I felt so stupid and Jenny seemed to be on a mission, hoping I didn't know about this so she could get a dig in on Chris even from the grave of their relationship. The thing was, I don't think she liked actually hurting me. This was meant to hurt Chris and I was just collateral damage. My guess was that whatever had happened between Chris and Jenny had something to do with Scarlett and it hurt her in a way they couldn't come back from.  For her to still be bitter enough after all this time, to make sure she got me alone to see if I knew about it, it had to have been something she wasn't able to let go of.

Maybe what hurt me most was wondering if Chris would have ever told me. That, coupled with the fact that Chris had been jealous at least twice that I knew of, for no reason, made my head spin.  He still acted a little timid about Seb sometimes and that made this new information even more irritating.  At least nothing has ever happened there and it's all in Chris' imagination.  Sebastian has never made any advances toward me, just been there for me when I needed a friend. With Henry, he may have flirted a little too much even after finding out I was Chris' girlfriend, but I never reciprocated.  It even turned me off, causing me to really not be phased by him after the elevator meeting.

Chris didn't do anything to hurt me except love me so much that he was scared to lose me to his secret.  That was not the worst thing that could happen but he should know I love all of him because our past is what brings us to our present and eventually our future. I needed to just sit here and get over this hurdle and figure out what I wanted to say to him.  I loved him and he loved me, period.  But, he shouldn't have started with his one word demand the minute the door closed and this was one girl he should've known to tell me about.  Especially since the only thing I wanted to know up until now was if I was going to be face to face with an ex or someone he had flings with, to let me know.  I'm not sure I could ever be bff's with Scarlett, but all that happened way, way before me and now it was just getting over the fact that he didn't feel like he could tell me about them. That made it feel like a dirty little secret to me.   Also, how he made me feel that weekend with Sebastian, yes he was drunk and that caused him to over react but it was so hypocritical with the girls all around him.  These were the major things I was taking away from all this that we needed to talk through.  The frustration and hurt, but that the past can't be changed for either of us.  As long as we continue to be honest and faithful to each other, along with the love we have, that's what matters.

Once the hot water ran out, I turned it off, dried off and shrugged into my pajamas but I didn't leave the bathroom.  My phone kept lighting up on the counter in front of me so I perched myself up on it.  Pulling my knees up to my chest, I unlocked my phone, knowing who all it could be. 

Ten missed calls from 🦀SEBBY🦀

🦀SEBBY🦀:  Are you okay?
🦀SEBBY🦀:  Not gonna lie, I'm worried about you.
🦀SEBBY🦀:  Are you mad at me?
🦀SEBBY🦀:  You know I couldn't say anything, right?  I mean I always wondered and felt like I knew but I was never told about any kind of relationship between them.

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Honestly, I probably could talk to Sebastian about this.  In reality, Sebby and I were closer than he and Chris were but it would be really inappropriate and not a good idea.  The problem was, before Chris and I were together, he knew about my crush on Seb so I couldn't blame him for being leery of our friendship in the beginning, but now he should know better.  Still, this was something I really needed to speak only to Chris about, even if I had someone on the outside I could talk to about it.
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