Separately Together

Chapter Eleven: Addiction 1/2

Harley's P.O.V

I stirred awake and last night's events came rushing through my head like a core memory. No matter how hard I tried to push the past behind me I couldn't. However hard I pushed it away it came pulling me back with ten times as much strength as I ever possibly could muster.

She was asleep in the guest bedroom, her presence lighting up this place making it something I never thought it would be. Somewhere I was looking forward to being. Thank God it was the weekend because I don't think I could stomach being at work knowing she was here. In my house, filling it with everything Maddie. She was all-consuming, and there was no way I was letting her take any of her warmth away. Did it make me selfish, that I was willing to let her consume me in her fire, but I wasn't willing to let her even have a piece of me? It stemmed from fear that I would ruin her, ruin what I was addicted to.

Maddie had become my addiction over the past few months, I don't know if the feelings extend any farther than that, but I knew that I craved her. Craved to see the blush that caused her cheeks to become the darkest of reds. Craved to see her wince whenever someone used a curse word and the worst of all was that I craved to feel her. Platonically, of course. This wasn't ... normal for me.

Just the thought of kissing her cheek does more to me than having sex with another girl. It bugged me when she didn't share things with me, but I didn't want to extend the favor. I knew it was wrong, I needed to get rid of these compulsive thoughts, but it was just like trying to quit drinking for an alcoholic. It almost made me understand my addict mother.

Good thing I was strong-willed, I wasn't going to give in to this. It was wrong and would only make things harder for both of us. We were better off as just friends, not that we were anything more. It was just these thoughts made her swarm my brain at all times of the day. I could barely function without thinking about her.

This situation couldn't have come at the worst time. I couldn't let her go back to her apartment; she wouldn't be safe at Finns. She was stuck and my addiction was loving every bit of it.

I had her here, all to myself.

Once it became apparent that sleep was avoiding me, I decided it would be best to go ahead and get an early start today. I walked past the bedroom she was asleep in, and my steps paused for a brief moment. She was right behind that door, and yet she wasn't mine to have. Wasn't mine to satisfy my addiction. I huffed out a breath and continued down the steps into the kitchen to fix myself a cup of coffee.

It wasn't long until work called saying they needed me. I had to drag myself out of that house. Pathetic.

~.~.~.~.~

"Look into Vickers Oliver," I spoke to Jared, the bodyguard that came with me to work, his co-worker, Gale stayed near the house to keep an eye out for Maddie. I didn't know how desperate Vickers was to get his revenge. I wasn't taking any chances.

I didn't know much about the Forefathers other than that they had relations with the Voiceless, I guess Ben did something for me after all. I scoff at the thought. I despised that man, even if he was my biological father. Fuck him.

I would keep him out of this the best I could but if it came down to it, I would force myself to be civil ... for her. As much as I hated to admit it, he was useful for things like this. Pride didn't amount to anything when it came to her.

She would not be hurt, again. If I had to beg him to kill every last biker I would. Shame be damned.

"Yes, sir."

The work they wanted to be done was so simple it made me want to cuss the whole office out, or maybe it was because they forced me to miss seeing Maddie when she woke up, I wanted to hear her morning voice. See her tired eyes, they were half closed making her look like a seductress. I don't know I forced myself not to lay my hands on her that night we slept in the same bed.