Separately Together

Chapter Eighteen: 2/2

"Tonight's been nice. I haven't got to see y'all for a couple of weeks." Liz says as she regards us all. After their honeymoon we hadn't really got together and spend quality time, plus I also lied to them and said I had the flu after she had asked me to come over during the week.

This past week I've been working and coming home nothing else, and Gale had been staying at the house in Harley's absence. "It has been nice." Natalie agrees and me and Sara nod.

"I can say I've missed seeing you two." Harley adds. "I went far too long without coming around."

Finnic nods in understanding, "Well now you don't have much of a choice." Those two really needed a night out together. Harley didn't get too much time to himself but that was going to change.

Stage one of getting Harley back.

I was going to plan them two a night out soon.

Harley reaches over to me and pulls my back into his chest, the act simple and I knew he was doing it for the sake of appearance, but the jar rattled until I settled it back down and just enjoyed the innocent touch.

His warm feeling impeccable against my clothed skin.

I rest my head back against his chest and the once unwanted fake relationship comes as a relief because it gives me a reason for some much-needed physical touch.

I hear Finnic in the background gagging. I chuckle to myself and feel Harley's chest shaking from his own amusement. I did enjoy the distress this caused my brother, it was probably the last thing he expected to happen coming up, but he seems to accept it, something I couldn't have anticipated. He was doing it for my sake, because he knew that after what Vickers did there was a good possibility that I would never date again.

Harley's arms snake around my waist and pull me firmer against him. "Is this, okay?" He whispered in my ear, and I give him a simple nod trying not to read too much into this because I knew that was all he was worried about. He didn't want me to catch feelings because he didn't intend to date me, and I knew I was okay with that; it just stung a little.

I didn't want a relationship either so Harley would be kept at arm's length until it was time to move on.

Separately Together.

We would live together, fake date in front of people, he would hold me through my nightmares, he would continue to put his life on the line for me while I tried my hardest to give him something worth living for.

We wouldn't do anything remotely close to what happened the other night. No matter how bad I dreamed about it or how much I wanted to feel his skin on mine, we wouldn't.

It proved far too risky for our relationship. I needed Harley in my life even if it was as just a friend, because he was the only one that knew everything, he was the only one I can talk to about it all. Hes the only one that makes me feel safe from the demons that haunt me.

We couldn't jeopardize this friendship anymore then we already have.

The jar of butterfly's sink in the very dark pits of my stomach. Where I laced it with chains that must hold for my own sake.

Everyone sits around for a little while longer before Natalie and Sara have to leave. Asher follows shortly after, which leaves us four.

Finnic helps Liz up as she clutches her belly and Harley grabs my hands to pull me to my own feet. My brother pulls me into a tight hug, while Liz and Harley share their own hug. I sometimes forget that they are cousins, their attitudes couldn't be more different.

"I just heard that the son of a bitch got out of prison." Finnic says and I try to pull back, but he keeps m held tight. I guess not wanting to alert the others about this conversation, he didn't know that both of them knew.

"I know, Finnic." I explain. "They came and told me the day he got out for good behavior."

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asks but quickly changes his course of questioning. "Is that why you moved in with Harley?" He pulls back so he can get a good look at my face, because he can tell when I'm lying.

"No." I say quickly but his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline, I've messed up. He has seen right through the lie. He lets me go completely and then grabs my forearm and pulls me to Harley. No doubt he was about to cause a scene and I could only be thankful that the other people had already left. At least it was just us four and no one else because with how angry Finnic looks, I'm not sure he would have stopped if they were al here.

"What the fuck, Harley? You're lying to me now? About my own damn sister?" He is still clutching my upper arm tightly and Harley's gaze switches from my eyes to Finnic's, probably trying to establish what and all Finnic knew about.

I snatch my arm out of his grasp feeling it tingling from his firm hold. Liz is standing to the side looking like a deer caught in head lights. I slightly shake my head, letting her know that he doesn't know that she knew.

"There was no need to stress you two out, your wedding, honeymoon. I had everything under control. You told me to look after her, that's what I'm doing." He says cool and collective, while Finnic just seems to be getting more riled up. Worry grows in my body, and I feel my limbs beginning to shiver slightly from an on-set panic attack. I didn't do good with conflict.

"This is Maddie, you're talking about Harley. All of that would have waited!" He all but screams at him and Harley glances at me and notices my shaken form. His eyes harden in Finnic's direction almost like he was more worried about me then he was about his and my brother's relationship. They have always been like brothers, and I can't believe I had somehow nearly ruined this too. I've never seen the two of them argue.

"Just calm down." Harley says with a smooth voice I could hear the restraint he was holding back. he wanted to scream back, to fight back but he wasn't because of me. he was ruling in his emotions for my sake, something Finnic wasn't doing.

Finnic has always been my biggest protector but over the course of a few months the role had switched without me even really realizing it.

"Oh, fuck off." Finnic mutters in a faux clam voice. "You've been M.I.A for four years, Harley. You know who was here when the son of a bitch was locked up? Me. You know you made her go to therapy? Me. You know who stayed up day and night to coax her out of her nightmares? Me. I had a right to know that the basterd got out so I could take care of him my damn self!" He points at his Harleys chest over and over again at each sentence. Harley was about to blow.

"Liz, you and Maddie get out of here. We'll be fine. I promise." He looks over my brother's shoulders to instruct us that we didn't need to be here for this argument. My hands were shaking so bad I had to twist my fingers together to hold them steady and my breath kept catching and my body almost refused to let it go making me lightheaded.

The panic attack was already in the works.

"Yall, just drop it for now. Maddie is having a panic attack." Liz wraps her arms around me, and I cling to her willfully. Wishing I could crawl in a hole and cry for days and days. This was embarrassing. This little argument, this little bit of shouting had made me nearly lose my balance.

Harley comes up behind me and picks me up bridal style, I hide my face in his chest not wanting to see anyone's face not wanting to even be here right now, in this situation.

"You have a family to worry about, Finnic. A baby. I don't have anything I would miss. I have it all under control." Harley whispers over my shoulder before he turns his back on my brother and heads towards his vehicle with me in his arms.

Somehow this felt like they were trading me off like I wasn't my own person, wasn't capable of taking care of myself. The independent side of me was roaring but the intellectual side knew that I could do this on my own.

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