Tinder - Jenlisa (English version)

40

Jennie POV

On Monday morning, Jimin came into my office with a pile of papers. I hate to have a lot of hustle and bustle first thing in the morning, I usually enjoy an hour or two of peace and coffee until the other staff arrive.

JIMIN: Jen, we have a problem.

'Hello, Monday, here we go.'

JENNIE: Please tell me we're on schedule, because we've been working for a week and we can't start accumulating delays.

JIMIN: It's not that. Lisa's letter of resignation has just arrived.

He hands me a piece of paper. I freeze and don't react, so he puts it on the table in front of me. What does it mean, she's resigning? What?

JIMIN: We need to find someone right now or we will be fucked. She left this too.

He puts an envelope with my name on it on top of the resignation letter.

JENNIE: What do you mean? Why?

JIMIN: I don't know, I'm quite surprised myself. I called her but she didn't answer, I'll try again later.

JENNIE: But she can't leave.

Jimin looks at me strangely.

JIMIN: You also need to go through these documents Taehyun sent us.

He leaves another pile of papers on my desk and walks away.

I don't understand anything. Lisa's not coming back? She comes to my house drunk on Saturday, disappears without a word on Sunday and quits on Monday? I don't understand her mental processes, I find them totally meaningless.

I looked at the papers Jimin had brought with him. The letter of resignation, effective today. So she's not coming today. She's not coming anymore. The other envelope has my name on it, maybe she's written something to explain herself...

I opened it.

'Jennie.

If you're reading this it's because I've finally gathered the courage to send it, because if you know me a little you'll know that I'm a coward. So if you are holding it in your hands, good for me.

There are so many things I'd like to say to you that don't make sense now. I wish I could fix it all. Turn back the clock and go back to that ice cream shop. I'd sit down with you and tell you the only thing I should have said: "Hi, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life and I need to meet you".

But life isn't like that, it's not a movie and I don't have superpowers. Life is a succession of unique moments, and if you blink you miss them. You make a bad decision, then another, you say something you shouldn't... and that moment that could change your life forever disappears.

I've never been good at expressing the things inside me; maybe that's my biggest flaw. I know you think I have too many. But in one of those ideal moments that we were able to share, my virtues won out over my faults. I will always carry that with me.

I also feel that I owed you a farewell. Or maybe I owed it to myself. I wish things were different. But I wanted you to know that of all the moments in my life that could have been and weren't, you will always be my favourite.

I hope you will be able to find what you need to be happy.

Lisa.'

My eyes fill with tears. I feel such an emptiness in my chest that I don't know how to describe it.

'She's gone.'

I call her on the phone, but she doesn't answer. Maybe she has blocked me. Fair enough, I have done that before. Tehyung texts me to ask if I've checked the documents he sent me and I can't concentrate. I've got work to do, I'm in the middle of the most important campaign we've ever done in the company and I've lost Lisa, and not only that, I feel like running out of here to look for her.

I skim through the documents and reply. I open the email and feel overwhelmed because I have more than 50 unread emails to reply to, one by one. I do it on autopilot, I don't even know what I'm writing.

After a while I call Rosé on the phone, she always answers right away.

ROSÉ: Jen.

JENNIE: Rosé, I need you.

ROSÉ: Do you want me to come up?

JENNIE: Yes.

In less than two minutes she is in my office.

ROSÉ: Are you all right?

JENNIE: You know already?

ROSÉ: Jisoo told me last night that Lisa was having some kind of crisis.

JENNIE: She wrote me a letter.

ROSÉ: What did it say?

JENNIE: It's a goodbye letter.

I can't hold back the tears and feel frustrated. I don't want to cry here in the office while Taehyung is texting me, thinking I'm working like I'm supposed to. Rosé runs over to hug me.

ROSÉ: Why don't you talk to her?

JENNIE: Either she's turned it off or she's blocking me. I have to work, I can't now, I can't.

ROSÉ: You can go to her house after work.

JENNIE: I can't go all day like this. I can't concentrate. I don't even want to read my mail today because I don't know what I wrote.

ROSÉ: What do you have to do now?

JENNIE: Read me a 200 page report and summarise it in 20 pages.

ROSÉ: God...

JENNIE: I know.

ROSE: Jen...

She crouches down next to me and looks at me tenderly.

ROSÉ: I might regret what I'm about to say, so make the most of it, okay?

JENNIE: What?

ROSÉ: I'm going to do that summary and you're going to go to her house now.

JENNIE: No. I can't ask you to do that.

ROSÉ: You didn't ask me.

JENNIE: I can't make you do it. It's my job, I have to be responsible.

ROSÉ: Jen. Listen. If you have to do this now, the result will be a hell of a lot worse than if I do it, so you'd be responsible.

JENNIE: Rosé, you know you're the best friend in the world, right?

ROSÉ: Go now.

I get my coat and leave the office. It's 12 noon and although Lisa's house is quite far away, I get there in 20 minutes.

I ring the doorbell, but no one answers. Maybe she's not there. Frustrated, I try again. Because I've left work to look for her and I'm a terrible marketing director.

But on the second try, the door opens.