Shadow Butcher (LokixAvengersxOC)

Men and Men

TW: Mention of Rape

The next morning, I woke up before sunrise. I made myself some coffee and lazily watched the news as I lay down on the couch. My head still hurts from the impact from Loki but I had to admit, without him, I would still be a bloodthirsty killer hunting down innocent people for HYDRA's benefits. Yet, he hurt my feelings and my trust. Although, he only meant well. This is my inner conflict at the moment. And I wasn't quite watching TV either. More into staring out into nothing and suppressing my inner demons that are having a war inside my head.

"Breaking News!", the TV reporter calls out and it turns my attention back to the flickering machine.

My swollen eyes from all the crying had a hard time adjusting to the screen. And I was zoning out quite a few times. But this article really made my anger grow.

The news is about a few murdered women who got abused and raped. The poor ladies were at the wrong place at the wrong time. But what made me outraged the most was, that the murderer, abuser, and rapist fled from the police and now he's set free until they find them again. Meaning, he can find another victim in the meantime until he gets caught again.

Angrily, I throw my cup of coffee at the TV. The screen cracks as the spilled liquid makes the electronic device shut down. I stand up as my breathing is ragged but it hitches once a pair of hands spin me around. My face gets placed gently onto Loki's chest as his hands stroke very softly the small of my back and caresses my head.

"Why are men all the same?", I barely ask in a whisper. My body is still tense but somehow I feel safe around him, although I don't want to admit that. Not now.

He sighs deeply, continuing his slow movements on me but making me sit down on the couch. The hand on my back slowly wanders to my thigh. His touch was so tender and careful. I nod my head to permit him. He grabs my thigh and pulls me up to him so I am now straddling his hips. He leans closer, our foreheads almost touching.

"Do you believe I am such sort of man?", he asks curiously but I hesitate with my answer. "Or do you believe the Captain being such sort of men?" I bite my lip and he continues: "Perhaps, Banner or Stark? Maybe even Thor?"

"What if you are all too good to hide the tempted beast?" Loki chuckles breathlessly and pulls back a bit, giving us some space. My forehead wrinkles a bit at his reaction, making my heart stammer. "Am I right?"

I shift uncomfortably as I feel him grow beneath me. Even though I feel a bit turned on by it, I wasn't ready to do anything intimate. Not yet. At least not when I can't let my guard down in my situation.

"You are scared, yet excited, my dear. But I will not force you to do anything," he leans to my ear and whispers. "Do you want to know why?"

I clear my throat and get down from his hips, sitting next to him as I pinch the skin of my hands. Just to remind myself not to get horny all the time. Especially not when my heart rate spikes up because of me getting nervous around him. And I'm not talking about the nervosity of excitement but rather of the fear of getting hurt.

"The difference between those men," he points to the broken TV. "and the other men are, simply taming the beast."

I cross my arms and tsked him. "Very comforting," I mutter with pure sarcasm, also a bit offended by not being respected by my point of view. "And how can someone know when to unleash the beast? Because they clearly have told the raper no, yet he did otherwise. He didn't even try to respect their boundaries."

He sighs deeply and leans back against the couch. "Because not all men are bad. But not all of them are good either. Just like some are true heroes, there will always be monsters," He clenches his jaw and looks away. "Unfortunately, that's how it works."

That explanation hits me. I let the truth sink in me first and blink my eyes a few times to process everything he said. My hand seeks out for his but I stop before taking it. Loki sees how I hesitate and takes the offensive. He intertwines my fingers with him while his other hand tilts my head to look at his true features. The one that tells me he's saying it from all his heart.

I let out a breathless chuckle. "Yeah, but some of them don't think with their brains. Instead, they are controlled by their penises once the blood rushes from their head into their dicks."

Loki bursts out laughing, echoing through the room as he shakes his head to himself to stop.

"Okay, honest answer. That's more like it." He smiles comforting me. The smile tells me that he understands what my point is. "I understand you have had really horrible experiences with men in your life and they have made you think that every single one of us is evil when it comes to more than a fling." He sighs. "But I hope you can believe me when I tell you that in the long run that way of thinking, well, it can be really self-destructive."

I run my hand over my hair. "Everything comes with a price, Loki." His breath gets caught in his throat when I mention his Name. He knows every time I use his name, it's a deep talk. "I can't do love anymore because it will end up in a disaster."

"But you have to realize that not everyone out there is out there to get you."

My heart skips a beat. Everything he said now, was quite the opposite of what he said to me when I was mind-controlled by HYDRA. A spark goes through my body and the only question that crosses my mind is quite perverted. And here, the curiosity gets the hang out of me.

"And how do you tame your beast, mischief?"

He lets go of me, leaning back. He licks his lip as his eyes turn a darker shade while they roam all over my body from head to toe. Not even an inch goes by missing. He chuckles darkly before he speaks up in a husky and low voice.

"I hold back until I can unleash the beast and you know exactly how I can be, my little goddess."

I let out a gasp unintentionally. Swiftly, I get onto my feet and clear my throat, avoiding looking at him before I jump onto his dick and ride him. Before I will regret something which I can't undo.

"I can wait, princess. I am in no rush."

He walks past me and vanishes into his room, leaving me all horny by myself. So, I run off to my room and play with myself to distract myself from any other further feelings.

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Author's Note:

Disclaimer: with this story, I want to deliver a few messages that sometimes aren't spoken enough. SA can be traumatizing for a few people. And sadly, a few people get it worse than others. If you have the urge to talk, please talk to someone. It can be very helpful for you. It's a heavy step and it takes a few attempts until you can make it. But those baby steps are the most important ones.